25 things about me

I'm bored and there is nothing on TV so I figured I'd make a list that I've been too lazy to do before now. I only go halfway done because I've been very honest and its actually rather hard. I'll finish it another day... maybe.

1. I hate the telephone. I get anxious when I have to call someone. I don’t like answering the phone and avoid it at all costs. I know this is weird.

2. I’m a rule follower – to my detriment. I’m just not a go with the flow kind of gal. People who are not annoy me (I feel like they are somehow cheating me).

3. I really like to play golf. I don’t care in the slightest if I suck. This is good because I do indeed suck.

4. I love thunderstorms – BIG ones. I’m always disappointed when we get a thunderstorm weather warning without the storm. Rain though – sucks.

5. I spend a great deal of time wondering if I’m “good” enough ... at EVERYTHING (and feeling inadequate). Perhaps I should be in therapy.

6. I’m a planner. I love planning activities: doing research making lists, schedules etc.

7. I’m a medical junkie. With a bigger brain I think I would have been a physician. I like to read/learn about diseases and medical conditions. I remember what I read.

8. I hate it when a good book comes to an end. I’m also a rather quick reader no matter how hard I try to slow down to savour a good story. I know it’s not great literature but the end of the Harry Potter series made me sad. I did not feel equally saddened by the end of Twilight. lol I wish Audrey Niffenegger would write another book.

9. Although I love reading with my kids (and will continue to do so... bring on the Hobbit), I’m really looking forward to the day when I can ask the kids to grab a book and sit and read quietly while I do the same. We’re getting there. Slowly.

10. I wish I were a better athlete. I like the endorphins brought about by exercise but I can’t handle the pain you need to endure to experience them. I would really like to be a runner. It’s not going to happen.

11. I don’t know how to make friends. I freak out and hide. I think its all tied to the “good enough” thing. If you want to be friends with me you have to work really hard initially because when you’re not looking I’m secretly panicking that I’m messing things up.

12. I prattle on WAY too much. People probably don’t realize this but I know this (and that its not a desirable character trait). I have tried to change since I was a small child (and used to get regularly punished for it). I’ve given up.

Rain, Rain, GO AWAY!

I wonder how much lumber it would take to build an ark and if the credit limit on our Home Depot card would cover it.

I'm going to talk about the weather. Oscar Wilde may have dismissed talk about the weather as "the last refuge of the unimaginative," so call me unimaginative but this really sucks.

I l know there are parts of the world dealing with real weather problems and this is by no means a real problem (for me a non-farmer, the farmers here are in deep trouble). That doesn't stop it from being a major drag. More so if you're 7 and 5 and supposed to be outdoors 24/7 having the summer of your life. The kids are in the basement right now. In the heart of summer vacation and as nice a basement as it is, how depressing is that?

It is not raining at this very moment - alleluia! However, we began the day with thunderstorms and it is dark enough right now that all the lights in the house need to be on so more rain isn't far off. Oops I lied. It is indeed pouring - I just didn't realize it.

It rains every bleeping day. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Normally a lot. It's always "about to rain." Which makes activities difficult to schedule and disappointments (as promised excursions get cancelled when the heavens open up) many. On Friday the city took the rare measure (further research shows its not all that rare - they've done it 4 times this season; it just never affected us before this weekend) of closing all sports fields until further notice. The hope is to open them tomorrow but when they were shut down on Friday they were supposed to open today. But the rain hasn't stopped. Nor is it expected to. We're not a city that normally has big flooding problems but that was until the non-stop deluges started.

Sigh.

At least it has warmed up (although we are still on track to post the coldest July since they started record keeping in the 1930s). The beginning of the month was downright frigid. Now at least we're sitting in the mid-20s temperature wise. The unfortunate effect of the that though is that outside weather still sucks but we have to run the air conditioning to say comfortable indoors.

In an effort to make lemons out of lemonade - I'm considering starting an earwig raising business since my backyard now seems to be full of the little dampness loving creatures (ick!).

P.S. You see how in the forecast above it promises sun on Thursday and Saturday - it lies. When I got up this morning it promised sun tomorrow. Yesterday - that promise was for today. They are just playing with our minds. It's an illusion, a mirage. As we get close to the real day they move the sun just out of our reach. Gentle reader, you're not mistaken. I am having a weather breakdown. The rain is causing a psychosis.

Party Planning

So Sunday is my darling daughter's seventh birthday. Appropriately Kamryn is in 7th heaven. Party is tomorrow. It's got a Webkinz theme and she couldn't be more excited if she tried. Her mother? Less so. Somehow my seven-year old daughter is having a birthday party where there will be 4 boys in attendance and 3 girls (including her!).

Okay boys are a lot of work. They are VERY cute but they truly make me believe that cold fusion is possible. Something must keep them in energy. Little girls are so much easier. Even tomboys like mine. But we've never been a Princess Party single sex (well girl sex anyway) party kind of family though. The ratio of boys to girls would be even more lopsided but I had encouraged the invitation of a few excluded girls (more to reciprocate other invitations than because I wanted to influence who should be invited)

I'm proud of her. We got her a bicycle a few weeks ago as an early birthday present. It's red. I asked if she would prefer one that was pink or purple instead. She told me "I know I'm supposed to want a pink or purple one because I'm a girl but I want the red one. Is that all right?" This warms my mommy heart - one because she is her own person and secondly (conflictingly) because my bicycle is red and I think a little of it is that she wants to be like me.

I've told her how proud of her I am for not following the crowd but she just gives me this "you're nuts mom" look that I've come to expect whenever I tell her anything.

Meanwhile, however, I've got a party to plan - and little boys to entertain at a little girl's party (oh I hope they don't freak out when I suggest making braclets - they can give them to their Moms).

Pray for me. ;)

8 litres of Jam

What in the world am I going to do with 8 litres of jam? Oh and I STILL have raspberries left.

A raspberry story

So today we went strawberry, I mean raspberry picking. The intention was to pick strawberries but it seems the season ended without telling us. I'm good with raspberries though.

Let me preface the rest of this post with the point that I've never picked berries before.

So a little of this...

And some of this...

And I'm sure too much of this (look closely at Sam's mouth)...

And you end up with WAY to many of these.

I don't know what we were thinking when we picked that many. Well actually I do. It seemed criminal to leave tempting berries on the vine and walk away.

So I did a little of this...

And a little of this ...

And now we have a whole bunch of this...

As you can see we still have 4 litres left. I'll get to them tomorrow morning. Next time we will leave more berries behind for the birds.

I have a new backyard.

Cost me $658.00 -- the cost of a commercial grade gate for the chain link fence behind my house.

We have a typically tiny surburban backyard (at least for here/now. My parents yard is massive compared to this). Now the yard is a reasonable sized yard for a 41 year old. It's big enough for entertaining, hanging out, a nice little kitchen garden and its certainly enough lawn mowing but it's not so great when you're 5 and 7 and want to spread your wings a little. I'd estimate it's 40 x 60. However, just on the other side of our fence is a sizable school playground (3 or 4 acres). It includes a play structure, tennis courts, soccer field, baseball field, community centre, ice rink (in the winter) - kid heaven. We have access to the park/school via two paved paths each about five or six houses from ours. Not a far walk but not one we are willing to let the kids make on their own. Actually, I'd let them make it but once on the other side of the fence, if something happens, I'm too far away to get to them so I can't let them go on their own.

Friday we got a gate installed.

So here I sit, under a tree inside the gate watching the kids play outside the gate. I can see them well almost whereever they go - very few obstructions in the way. Kamryn has a walkie-talkie so I don't have to yell like a crazy woman to get her attention (Yelling would work but the neighbours would eventually get annoyed). Sam is NEVER far from Kamryn (he's glued to her). They've been riding their bikes without me having to panic that a car will come around the corner and cream them. They've been playing ball without me having to ask the neighbours to retrieve their ball a gazzillion times. In fact Sam has discovered the joys of a rubber ball and a brick wall. We've been flying kites (well I tried but I'm a disaster). We played with air rockets. I'm liking this.

Best $658.00 I ever spent.

P.S. There is on downside I just realized - significantly dirtier kids.

Good news

This evening eager to read a new book Kamryn exclaimed how she "loved to read" and proceeded to read it to me and her brother. It was in french not english but hey at 7 I couldn't have read to you in two languages so who am I kidding?

P.S. I'm hormonal and my family should probably go and stay at a hotel this week for their own safety.

Making some changes

As you can see.

Biggest change coming is that I'm changing the address. I hope to use www.onthewaytoafamily.blogspot.com if it's available in a week. I changed it tonight and then realized that any friends who do read won't be able to find me again and I would be sad. Since I don't know who actually is still around after my prolonged absences, I changed it back and then provided this warning.

So if you're reading and can't find me next week... or the week after ... give the new/old address a try.

You’ve got to be kidding me

I thought there was nothing I would hate more than toilet training. In a gazillion years I certainly never thought it would be teaching my kids to read. It is infuriating. I'm not blessed with those kids that everyone I come across seems to have " oh one day he just popped off the breast and picked up War and Peace and that was that." I'm pulling my hair out here.

I just gave up with Kamryn and sent her away (yes, I know my mother of the year award is in the mail). Our Waterloo: the word "glasses," which she insisted must be "gu-lay-sea". This followed a struggle with "legs." which had to be "l-ee-n-g" (where the "n" came from is beyond me). To top it off (in the middle of our 10 minute struggle with "glasses" I asked Sam for a word starting with and A (so we could at least get the "a" sound right) and he had no idea. Bad mom that I am I sent him away to (not really; I told him to go and ask his father. He did know he just couldn't be bothered. Arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!)

I hate this. I took such joy in reading as a kid. This is sucking all the joy right out of it. Kamyrn can read just fine if she takes her time and thinks about how things sound but she doesn't. She sees the first letter of a word, thinks about what words could start with that letter and guesses; it doesn't matter a smidgen what the other letters in the word might be.

She does better in French (marginally) – definitely one of the weakest readers in her class at the end of 1^st grade (and unfortunately she knew it). Sam just couldn't care less. We've been working hard at reading and writing since school ended (she doesn't know we're working hard. It's my secret. I can see the progress in French; not so much in English which we've worked less on so I don't know what I'm so frustrated) but I'm not having any fun! Oddly the kids seem to still be enjoying themselves somewhat.

Okay maybe at the end of an active day is not the time to practice reading. It will get better when I'm off work (5 week vacation starts Friday!) and we can read mid-morning rather than late evening. Barring that, I'm sure there are some excellent vocational schools around (kidding of course ;)).

Cleaning Day

About 6 weeks ago I fired our cleaning service. Well not quite. I told them I wouldn't need them for the summer and I would call again in the Fall IF I needed them (this is because I'm a chicken).

It was a combination of factors – lack of money being the biggest one but in general I`ve been annoyed with the service I`ve been getting. At the end of May they were due to come for the bi-weekly cleaning. They didn't show. They didn't call. We just got home to a still dirty house. It was about the tenth time this had happened (sometimes we do got a call to apologize). They ALWAYS had an excuse and normally gave us some sort of discount for the inconvenience (at first this was spontaneous but more and more I had to ask to get any recompense). That last time they offered to come on the following Monday. I reluctantly said okay. Over the weekend my Father-in-law (who had been very ill for a very long time) took a turn for the worse and Daniel flew home. Cleaning crew came on Monday and cleaned. My Father-in-law died Monday afternoon. So that Thursday morning SUPER early the kids and I flew to join Daniel and stayed for 6 days. Since we hadn't really been in the house since it was cleaned I cancelled the regular cleaning the following Friday.

A week passed and the house was looking grubby so I cleaned. It wasn't that bad. The kids helped some. I KNOW I did a better job than the cleaning company on their best day. I contemplated how much we pay them. I contemplated what I could do with that cash. And I picked up the phone and fired them!

Okay so my plan quickly went south.

I had some utopian idea that my stay-at-home-Dad husband would clean a little everyday and we would live in spotless Nirvana. Un hunh. I cleaned like a madwoman every night after work. No one helped and I resented the hell out of both kids and husband. Hmmm... wasn`t this the reason we got the cleaning service in the first place? So ya – 2 weeks in and I wanted out. But I wasn't going to give up that easily. Time for my best passive-aggressive tactics. I made up worksheets (really I did!) listing what needed to be cleaned inside a two week period. I put a due date on the list and posted it on the fridge for all (read my darling husband) to read (and feel guilty as all the jobs were checked off by someone other than him). So two weeks went by and again I did everything by myself.

So I upped the aggressive and turned down the passive. I told him that I resented doing the job all on my own. He nodded and mumbled something. Two weeks went by ... I hired a divorce attorney – kidding. ;)

I changed tactics. Last Saturday we had "cleaning day." It was wonderful.

The WHOLE family contributed even the kids. It didn't take us a lot longer than the "professionals" I paid so dearly for (better even, the time I normally spent cleaning for the cleaning ladies folded into the overall clean).

The house is a gazillion times cleaner:

- I did all sorts of things they wouldn't normally do (things I didn't expect them to do - i.e. pulling out the stove to mop and sweep behind it).
- When dusting I tossed a bunch of clutter that I otherwise wouldn't even have noticed.
- I saw dirt that I normally wouldn't have noticed

The best thing is I think I taught my kids something. Yes, they have chores but Saturday I really put them to work. We're normally not at home when the cleaning crew comes - they truly had no idea what it takes to keep this place clean. If nothing else the lessons they are learning make the hassle worthwhile and have convinced me (at least for now) to stick it out (yes, my resolve was slipping). Daniel was grumpy by the end but its not like he could sit on the couch and read the paper while I cleaned around him. I was so much happier not having to do everything on my own.

Kamryn declared "cleaning day" boring but was soothed by the trip to MacDonald's for a post-cleaning feast. Yesterday she asked when it would be cleaning day again.

Perhaps because everyone worked so hard to clean the stupid house there seems to be a little extra effort being put forth to keep it clean (I've caught Daniel doing dishes twice now!)
I'm just revelling in a clean house that I didn't have to clean by myself. Hopefully we can keep this up.

I am super-Mom!

I can cure any illness with a phone call to the doctor!

Sam has had a minor cough for about a week now. Yesterday he started complaining of a headache and when I took his temp it was 102.

He stayed home from school and was fine all day (his temp stayed at around 100). Normal self really until around 3:30 when the Ibuprofen wore off and his temp started to climb once again. More Ibuprofen - VERY short nap = happy kid.

His temp started to climb again (around 10 pm) before he was due for more Ibuprofen so I gave him Tylenol and again he was fine. Took his temp around 4 am and it was 100.

At 6 am he woke me crying about a headache. He was burning up. I took his temp and it was 104 - that wakes you up REALLY fast. He was crying about his stomach, head and throat hurting.

Daniel who is away (his Dad passed away last week; kids and I went for the funeral but left Daniel behind for a few more days to help his Mom out) was treated for strep last week. So I thought it prudent to make an appointment for Sam to be seen just in case.

Of course - with Ibuprofen on board he is his happy self again: no complaints whatsoever (except that he wants to go to school).

My doctor is going to think I'm a moron.

Okay he's a little young for all this. Isn't he?

So Sam comes home from school yesterday and informs me that his teacher told him not to refer to women as "hot girls" because, as he explains it, "hot girls" is not proper french (they are only allowed to speak french at school) and he should instead refer to women as "hot babes." I find it hard to believe that was the alternative the teacher offered or that that was her reason for telling him not to use the word. Although having seen his teacher -- a "hot babe" who works at it -- I could be wrong.

He's also started to ask me to wear dresses to work rather than slacks because I look prettier in dresses he says.

I think I'm somehow raising a chauvinist. How did this happen?

New School!

Kamryn and Sam go to an alternative school. It is a public Catholic Montessori school. It was started by parents in the area and is one of three such schools. While it was a grassroots initiative it is one of the ways their school board (French Catholic) is trying to lure students away from the other three school boards in the area (yes there are too many boards; all in competition with each other). The school has been a phenominal success and is ranked number 1 (it's tied with about 30 other schools) out of something like 1700 schools in the province. The building the school is in though is crap with a capital C.

The school campus consists of a temporary structure errected 25 years ago (designed to last 20) as an annex to a neighbouring school. Three portable classrooms one of which functions as the library. And about an acre of asphalt. The miniscule "gym" has no changerooms. The classrooms have no cloakrooms - which in a Canadian climate is a real challenge. The classrooms are also claustiphobically small. It's cold in the winter and hot in the summer. There is no grass in the school yard. There is no parking.

When we enrolled Kamryn in Jr. K in 2006 we were told that they planned to be in a new school by Fall 2008. Sam started Jr. K in the Fall of 2008 in the same pathetic building. Last spring the board turned down a proposal for the construction of a new school. Lord knows why?!? The whole - alternative - thing gets in the way. Because it's not a neighbourhood school it's hard to get standing for anything - we don't do charter schools here.

But Providence smiled. At the same time the Board was saying no to a new school two things happened. The Minister of Education came for a visit and was shocked at the conditions. At the same time the English Public School Board was being forced to shut a nearby neighbourhood school because of falling enrollment. Long story long - Wednesday night we had a parent meeting with school board reps where they announced that our little school would be moving into the "previously loved" (built in 1969) school in the Fall. There is a bunch of money for renovation AND this school was always intended to be a school. It's not a "portapak" which is what they are in now (one of the board members last night pointed out that they current school is rated for 0 occupancy since it wasn't a permanent structure. There are 284 students enrolled.)

The teachers are soooooooooo excited. The kids won't stop going on about the school yard (new school sits on aprox. 3 acres of land).

I had honestly given up on my kids ever having the chance of being in a decent school building. I think I'm still in a little bit of shock.

Look what we're testing!

Trés cool to say the very least. It will not be available in stores until August.  Over the summer months we test toys for the Canadian Toy Testing Council.  We get to test a series of toys for about 6 weeks at a time.  At the end of 6 weeks we give the toys back and I have to fill out a report.  It's going to be VERY hard to give this one back I suspect (there is a big sale in October and testing families are offered the opportunity to buy the gently played with toys at a reduced cost).  The kids are going to flip.  Daniel and I spent an hour and half this evening putting everything together (we also got a secondary accesory to go with it that needed fiddling to).  This toy is full of all sorts of Indiana Jones like booby traps.  I've hidden the actual toy because I need to see their reaction when they first get to pl ay with it for my report and they get up before I do in the morning.  But I've left the boxes out - I know what noises I will be woken up to tomorrow. 

Bonus Photo - Easter

The are both smiling.  Both looking at the camera.  Don't know how that happened.

Why didn't I tell her it was so easy?

Two years ago when Kamryn was 5 we took her training wheels off her bike and tried to teach her how to ride without them. She wasn't ready.

Last summer, we took her training wheels off her bike and tried to teach her. She wasn't ready. We put the training wheels back on and waited a few weeks. We tried again. She wasn't ready. Well she was (she could do it), but she refused to admit she was. We put the training wheels back on and waited a few weeks. We tried again. She wasn't ready and my back could take no more.

A few weeks ago I tried and concluded that she must have some sort of inner ear imbalance. I admitted that this was not a reflection on my ability to parent. I admitted that it would be all right if she graduated to one of those adult tricycles in a few years and we left it at that. 

Then last week I watched the neighbour working with his son who's a few months younger than Kamryn.  He didn't run alongside like a crippled hunchback and then let go once his son got going he just gave him a push and off the little guy went. Hmmmm.... This happened to coincide with another neighbour giving us a bike for Sam that didn't have training wheels. It was a bit smaller than Kamryn's bike but not ridiculously small. Yesterday, I insisted Kamryn learn (I was so tired of hearing her complain about how everyone was riding a two-wheeler but her but then refusing to even try).  I gave her the hand-me-down bike. Set her up at the top of our driveway and had her roll to the bottom. By the time she had done that half a dozen times she could ride a two-wheeler. No hunched back. NO miserable middle-aged Mom huffing and puffing down the street. Just an excited happy kid who won't get off her bike now. :)  

My husband is a nut case

Dropped Sam off at a birthday party yesterday and had a few hours to kill. So we're driving to the paint store to choose colours for our newly finished basement (the completion of which was a three-year oddessy!) and as a whim we decided to stop and look at some new model homes in our neighbourhoud. We absolutely fell in love with a home not much bigger (300 sq. feet) than our own, but a bungalow rather than a 2-storey. Therefore, on a much bigger piece of property – huge basement as well.

 

Gorgeous.

 

Oh and it could be ours for a mere quadrupling of our mortgage.

 

In this economy, we could quadruple our extremely manageable mortgage to move to a house that we don't really need. This house is worth on paper – more than DOUBLE the assessed value of our current home. Can you hear the hysterical laughter?

 

Daniel isn't working. Daniel hasn't worked since last February really. He had a week and a half I think in July but that was it. We're doing fine on my salary (better than I thought we could). Yes, I've had some stomach tightening, headache giving moments as I examined our finances. Yes, I've thought winsomely (greedily?) about all the things we could have if DH was pulling in even half my salary. However, without sacrificing too much we're doing fine and I'm thankful we have it so good.

 

But no – we are not going to buy a new house. I knew that. He knew that.

 

So there he is with the poor real estate lady – asking all these really tough questions. The questions you ask when you are going to buy the house. What's the slope of the property? How would the house be positioned on the property. Where will the utility boxes be (ie. Would they be on our property of the neighbours). She's getting out plans and blueprints. She's chatting up Kamryn, who was along for the ride. She's telling us all sorts of wonderful things about the neighbourhood (we're in walking distance of our own house). We left loaded down with flyers and price lists and plans. Geez... louise. I kept giving him these looks and he kept going. Talking about how it would be a good "garden plot" and what we could do with the basement to build and in-law suite for my parents. Nuts I tell you!

 

As an aside, as I write this entry Sam is playing with a little bell he got from preschool a gazillion years ago. Playing with it the way a cat plays. Swatting it with his "paws." He's been at it the whole time I've been writing. It's a little disturbing. My son the kitten. At least he has stopped the never ending play-by-play that was driving me nuts.

Feast or famine that's me ...

Like the baby Dino said in that short lived show in the '90s: "Gotta love me." :)

Cause I'm a redneck woman

And I ain't no high class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
And I say "hey y'all" and "Yee Haw"
And I keep my Christmas lights on, on my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Charlie Daniels song
So here's to all my sisters out there keepin' it country
Let me get a big "Hell Yeah" from the redneck girls like me
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah

The good news is Santa came down!

Santa has adorned the front of our house since late November. He was strapped to the window of the Master Bedroom in all his glory. He has lights and his lights have thankfully been extinguished since January 6th but he remained as a reminder of why I so love winter.

In order for him to come down two things had to happen the snow had to melt off the roof over our garage (so when Daniel climbed up the steep slope he didn't plummet to his death) and the ice had to melt off our driveway (so when Daniel put the ladder up to climb on the slippery roof the ladder didn't slip plummeting him to his death). With a south facing exposure this normally happens at some point in January. This year - no January thaw (one of only three times this has happened in 50 years). So Santa stayed up there a not so silent hostage, pounding loudly on my window -- whenever the wind got strong -- for entry into the room. 'Cept he couldn't come in because I couldn't open the window with his swollen body leaned up against it.

FINALLY on Friday we had a thaw that wasn't immediately followed by a snow storm. And on the 28th of February Santa was liberated. I can not put into words how much pleasure this gives me. Until next year ...

Okay so I feel off the face of the earth… completely… AGAIN.

To be honest I wasn’t going to write again. But I felt guilty. Katia reads faithfully and always drops me a line when I disappear like this. I expect there are other friends out there who silently wondered where in the world I disappeared to as well. All is fine. I was just a little overwhelmed and a lot tired and didn’t feel like writing. Life continues to trundle along. The kids are good and are growing like all good kids. Daniel and I are still happily married. Really things are boringly banal. You want details of boringly banal? Let’s start with Kamryn – cause she’s the easiest! She’s trundling along just fine, coming out of her shell and really quite a delightful little kid. Those of you who have had the pleasure of meeting Kamryn would laugh at the coming out of her shell part but in all seriousness this has been a worry. Kamryn is ebullient, funny and friendly but she is horribly insecure. She doesn’t want to stand out in ANY way. She's happy as long as she’s in the background and she works very hard to stay in the background. As you might expect this is a bit of a problem at school where it took the teacher two months to get Kamryn to smile and much longer to get her to talk. We’ve worked so hard at boosting her self-esteem and her confidence levels and trying to show her that being different is not only common but good! Slowly we’re making progress. Piano has really helped there – much to my shock because as an adult I still have a horrible time performing where others might hear me. Even hidden away inside a band I get horrible performance anxiety. Kamryn flounces onto the stage and plays without any visible nervousness whatsoever. I will keep encouraging and hope that she stays that calm for years to come. This January she took up hockey. Her choice. She’s a late starter (because she begged and begged and it took her parents forever to cave). Other kid’s her age have been in hockey initiation programs for two years now. They skate twice a week and are leaps and bounds ahead of where she is. So we have some catch-up to do. But she is working hard and catching up well (IMHO). We make sure to get out to the rink as a family once a week and we also have her in a class that meets once a week. The class ranges in ages from 6 – 12 so her skills probably are a bit more advanced than they seem as she’s being compared to kids who are in some cases years older than her. We will see what starting late really means when she has tryouts in September for a real team. She will be assigned to either A, B, or C division depending on her skills. Daniel is pretty certain she will be a C. I’m hoping that she makes B – not because I want her to be the next Hailey Wickenhauser (I was actually hoping she would hate it and quit – it’s REALLY expensive) but rather because I want her to be challenged a little bit and being in the middle division would contribute to that. C catches the dregs, everyone from the kid who isn’t all that good (Kamryn) to the kid who put skates on for the first time a week ago and has problems even standing on the ice. As I mentioned, Kamryn isn’t aggressive, on a team where she isn’t being pushed she won’t advance. No matter, wherever she ends up she seems to love it and is always excited to strap on the equipment. The only problem we’re having with her is it seems her health. She has missed so much school this year. Nothing serious just a little thing here and a little thing there. Eventually it adds up. Our latest problem has me doing the should we call the doctor or not dance. She had a virus (flu virus maybe?) about three weeks ago. High temp (102/103). Off school for the week. It resolved and she returned to school. By Friday her temp was up again and she was complaining of her ear hurting. I dragged her in to an urgent care clinic – likely prematurely. The doctor showed me how her ear canal was red and inflamed but cautioned that he didn’t think this was they type of infection that needed to be treated with antibiotics. He gave me a script but suggested I didn’t fill it. I didn’t and just like he predicted by Tuesday her temp was again normal and her ear was on the mend. On Saturday, her temp was up again (just at the 100 mark). So it’s been a month of her running alternately a high fever or a low-grade temp. She’s muddling through but I worry that there may be something underlying all this that is making her so susceptible to EVERYTHING going. This isn’t helped much by the fact that her little brother is NEVER ill. He’s yet to miss a day of school in this, his first year of school, and first year of exposure to real germs. Boggles the mind. Okay more on us to come … as the spirit (and thus the cursor) moves.

By the Way

I do have a post relating (not explaining as there isn't much to explain) to my prolonged absence. The post is at work though and I'm at home. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get my act together and put it up (still have major problems with posting from work - not the least of which is a complete absence of ANY time).

Lord Help Me

Sam's been crying all afternoon. I've tried to be sympathetic I really have but my patience is running thin.  It all started because I told him he could invite a friend over to play - said friend (likely the most popular kid in the class; his mother sent fridge magnets to school with his name and phone number on them the first day of school so ...) was unavailable.  His second choice couldn't make it either.  We didn't try for a third because we didn't find out about #2 until after the afternoon shadows grew long (we paused while inviting for his soccer practice - choice #2 is on his team).  

He's NEVER had anyone over to play before.  One because I detest play dates.  Yup my dirty little secret is out there.  I hate being responsible for other people's kids: whether they are having a good time, if they are hungry, if they are breaking my house etc.  Secondly, Sam on his own is a handful.  I admit to being particularly scared of what he would be like to take care of with another little boy.

BUT I felt the need to relent because "we" are having problems.  Little problems that are getting bigger and our doctor suggested we might try havng a friend over as a remedy to helping model appropriate play.  Well that didn't work.  I'm a little worried that Dominic has no real friends.  He's a bit of a bully although I believe its mostly unintentional - he can be a real charmer and a sweetheart.  But he's self-centered (ummm... of course he is he's 4!) and competitive and a poor loser and that translates into bully.  He's also desperate for friendship and failing miserably.

So the not having anyone over to play with him started his mood and it's just progressed from there.  It hasn't helped that Kamryn had a friend over (so much easier to have a 6 yr. old girl over). Everything makes him cry.  I think he may have unintentionally learned a hard lesson today. His behavior isn't the reason his friends didn't come over but he doesn't understand that (this is compounded by the message he's been given at school that if he keeps being so horrid none of the kids will want to play with him). So maybe something was achieved this afternoon after all. I've had it with the crying though.

And I never got out of my Pyjamas

I am the model of public service efficiency. Running my office, doing my job all from my family room. I have all the essentials at my fingertips: blackberry, laptop, timbits and Timmies coffee (it's a Canadian thing and no I didn't scare the customers with my jammies, Daniel brought it for me after driving the kids to school – school buses cancelled on account of the storm). I've made calls, checked in on my staff, edited speeches and touched base with the boss. I'm feeling more than efficient. I'm also feeling quite comfy as I sinch up my robe. Ah.... winter in Ottawa.

First big snow storm of the year hit yesterday – about a foot of snow since yesterday (it stopped about an hour ago) and not all that bad under normal circumstances but coupled with a MASSIVE transit strike it really sucks. This city relies heavily on its public transit system and normally it's a pretty good one. I take the bus back and forth to work each day. It's about a 40 minute ride and gets me from my sleepy little suburb to downtown in relative comfort. Not today, or tomorrow for that matter and probably not the next day. The two sides (idiots both) aren't even talking. So today I'm working from home. That is my plan for the rest of the week. Next week I need to go in. Efficient as I am I can't really run a unit from home. I'm not expecting things to improve transit wise but I won't have a choice. Perhaps I'll go in every second day ... ugh!

First Sleep Over

Kamryn had her enrolment ceremony for "Etincelles" (Sparks) last night. Its the Canadian equivalent of Girl Scouts for you guys I think (or whatever 6 year old girl scouts are). Followed by a camp-out in the Church basement - complete with tents! She was SOOOOO excited.

It was a VERY long day for her: piano lessons in the am, followed by a 3 hour gymnastics birthday party and the enrollment ceremony and "sleep"-over. I was nervous leaving her; Kamryn was quite happy though. We picked her up at ten this morning - obviously dead on her feet. When we suggested she skip Basketball this afternoon to sleep the tears started to flow so she is off to basketball - the walking dead.

Some pics:

Lighting her candle (the girl next to her is a Second year escorting her into the "Farandole" (I have no idea what that is in english sorry)).

With her Farandole.

After the ceremony next to her tent.

Really Long “Sam” Whine

This entry was originally a bulletin board post (I normally do this the other way round but didn't this time). I wrote it last week. This week he came home with a note from his teacher saying things are going better – go figure. I don't know what to do or where to go. Going to talk to our Family doctor on Friday regardless.

 

So the camel's back broke — in several places.

 

Sam is in trouble on the school bus AGAIN - I can't tell you how many times he has been in trouble since the school year started because I've lost track. The bus driver told my father (who met the bus) Tuesday that "this just can't continue." That was her way of giving a formal warning. He won't stay seated. He won't sit looking forward. And while yelling and benig generally disruptive he is also constantly reporting on what each and every OTHER child on the bus is doing. Seriously he's going to cause an accident.

 

Things in the classroom aren't much better. Although the teachers are at an advantage because we met with them before school started and coached them in what he needs. Clear, firm rules and consequences. He's not the only kid in the class and they can't watch him constantly. I was waiting/hoping that the teacher would raise the white flag first so that I could take Sam to the doctor and say "look here its not just us". Then Tuesday night, I spent some time going over his school agenda and all the flags are there in what she has written OVER and OVER and OVER again. Not to compare children (even though I'm going to but just to show that the teachers are reasonable as Kamryn isn't perfect) but in three years of school we've never gotten a negative note about Kamryn (in fact last night she had a note raving about the example she sets in class for others). Sam has been in school three months (exact same teacher as Kamryn had in JK) and he has five full pages with an average of 5 notes per page (although one note is really long). And all the notes basically say the same thing. He's been to the principal's office now twice. Daniel has been in to talk to the teacher once (because the volume of notes was getting a little out of control; she said he's working on his "problems"). We will have a formal meeting (Daniel's meeting was impromptu) with her when report cards come out in two weeks but I know exactly what she is going to say (and I'm not looking forward to hearing it). Interestingly at the beginning of the year she made a point of telling all the parents that "with 40 students in two classes, she didn't have the time to write notes and wouldn't unless there was something really pressing."

 

The school bus driver has had at least 6 discussions with us. We've tried punishment. We tried rewards. We've tried ignoring things. Now we're just going to yell for help. And before I get suggestions that maybe he's just not ready for school let me tell you that things at home... JUST AS BAD.

 

He has bad days and good days and on the good days things are so enjoyable (last night he cuddled up on the couch next to me while I was playing scrabble and contentedly prattled for an hour about his day pausing to read out the letters on the board and tell me I was going to lose ;)). On the bad days I just want to sob from frustration (this morning started off with him upending his ENTIRE breakfast (wasn't an accident! He was trying to be funny by holding the bowl upside down?!?) on the floor and then claiming innocently how he didn't do anything – ummm…. Did he think I wouldn't notice?). I'm exhausted and I'm frustrated.

 

He can be the most charming kid one moment and the next ... its just hard. For the entire family (including Sam who I believe really wants to "be good"). The comment we get from school most often is that he is trying really hard (and failing really dismally). The word used most often in his school Agenda is that he is "impulsive."

 

Sam's birthmother was diagnosed with severe ADHD as a child. Her mother claims it was a misdiagnosis and that what she suffers from is a brain injury. I would argue that despite the brain injury, the ADHD may have been/is an underlying condition. Also and possibly unrelated - his birthmother is an addict (drugs and alcohol) she didn't stop using (drugs not alcohol) until she was around 5 months along. Sam was followed VERY carefully for delays as an infant and has never had ANY. In fact his physical coordination is well ahead of his peers. He speaks two languages and academically he's perfectly where he is supposed to be.

 

But he has been a behavioural challenge since the very first hour he joined our family (at a year old). You would think we were the meanest parents on the block to watch us with him. He's on a VERY short leash but if you let it out even a little you've lost him (i.e. at 4 ½ he rides in the cart at the grocery store because it's the only way to ensure the entire trip isn't spent telling him: "don't touch this, don't touch that, come here, stop running, if you continue to twirl around you're going to hurt someone, no don't open that!".

 

We've suspected for many years that "sometime in the future" an ADHD diagnosis may be in order but I've always read that until the age of 6 it is not really possible to diagnose so I have never mentioned anything to our family doctor (that may come back to bite me). I've been waiting. I've tried to be patient but we are ALL miserable. I can't wait any longer. We need to do something now! I was going to call and make an appointment but have decided to wait until we see the doctor for his flue shot next Friday and ask her if he needs to be present or if we should just talk private. I'm terrified that she will tell me that we have to wait another year and a half to put him on a waiting list for even an evaluation. With our socialized medical care system I'm certain there is a waiting list and that its not short. I've made some inquiries on another board and been told that in Canada generally they don't evaluate kids until the age of 7 and that the school won't get involved until 3rd of 4th grade (by then Sam will have been expelled I fear. He certainly won't have any friends and will be "one of THOSE kids".).

 

I knew nothing about ADHD prior to Tuesday night when I actively started reading up on it. Denial is a strange thing – don't ask, don't tell. I'm stunned by the list of symptoms and how many things describe Sam's behaviour. The big one that got me was excessive crying. I thought he was just that kind of a kid (he cries constantly, loudly and for every little thing imaginable. It's his most annoying trait). It never occurred to me that it could be something beyond his control. For years I've been telling myself that he is all right. He can sit for instance, for an hour and work on a puzzle or play with his cars or even reading a book. Supposedly that's totally normal in ADHD kids as well - who knew.

 

This is a list of symptoms that I found on one site. There is only one thing on the list (loses things) that if asked to fill out a questionnaire I wouldn't mark as "strongly agree." I'm a little stunned I tell you.

 

1. Fidgets with hands or feet

2. Squirms in seat

3. Difficulty remaining seated

4. Easily distracted

5. Difficulty awaiting turn in games or group situations

6. Gives answers to questions before they are completed

7. Difficulty following instructions from others

8. Difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities

9. Shifts from one uncompleted task to another

10. Difficulty playing quietly

11. Talks excessively

12. Interrupts others

13. Does not seem to listen

14. Loses things

15. Engages in physically dangerous activities without considering the possible consequences

 

Anyway, wish us luck. I'm hoping the doctor will at least be willing to entertain our desperate need for some time of expert help. You know I'm honestly all right with being miserable with him at home (awful thing to say I know). It just kills me not to be able to run interference for him (which I realize now I've been doing for years) outside the home so that people don't prejudge him as an awful little boy.

And this is where I fall off the NaBloPoMo rollercoaster

I've decided I don't like posting daily. I just don't have that much to say or enough time to say it. I find myself guilty typing each evening with not much to say and this the lamest posts. So I don't think I'm going to try very hard anymore. I guess posting to say I'm not going to post goes against that decision.

I certainly won't tomorrow night though. Tomorrow I'm off to see Spamalot. Going to enjoy myself and kick back - not post. Cheerio.

Halloween candy will be the death of me!

It's so very bad for me but at the same time it's so very good. I just can't help myself I gorge on it every evening. I know I shouldn't but I can't stop. All day long I'm soooooo good and then in the evening I take huge giant steps backwards as I gorge on teeny weeny chocolate bars.

I keep meaning to take them to work and "dispose" or them but I can't. They are too yummy! Save me.

Disappointed

Tomorrow I was supposed to go on a field trip with Kamryn. Her class (and it turns out the rest of the school) is going to a local cinema to see a foreign film (yes I agree it is a weird field trip). I have previously avoided field trips because of the requirement that you speak French while on them. I don't mind speaking French to my kids and murdering the language but I'm shy about others. My French isn't that bad but I'm vain. Anyway I finally got over myself and volunteered to be a chaperone on this trip. Kamryn was VERY excited. She asked me timidly yesterday what would happen if I had to work and her trip was at the same time. I told her that that wouldn't happen. Then I rearranged my entire work day around this trip. This morning she bounded into my room full of excitement to inform me that "our trip" was tomorrow. Then later in the day when an important meeting conflicted with the trip I declined to attend and instead wrote down everything I needed conveyed at the meeting and entrusted someone else to represent my concerns. I decided to work from home tomorrow around the trip. I cleared everything with my boss. All set.

Got home today and there is a note from the teacher. They have too many attendees because while they intended on having grades 4 through 6 go on Friday they've changed it so that the entire school will go tomorrow. Kamryn didn't believe me when I told her that I couldn't attend. Poor kid. I had to show her the note (which she can't read) and promise that I would go on the next trip. The only problem there is that having made a big deal out of this trip it will be difficult (not impossible but I'm asking a lot here) to get the same slack at work for the next trip which is in just two weeks. Not to mention what will happen if for some odd reason they don't need me to chaperone the next trip either (although this seems unlikely). I can't believe that after been so reluctant to participate for SOOOOOO very long (we're going back to preschool here) having finally worked up my nerve I didn't get to follow though. I do feel all googly inside that Kamryn wants me to go with her so badly – I know I don't have very many more years of such intense "mommy-worship" left.

Watching the Race to 270

Wow. I'm beginning to be calm now. I've seen Ohio come in and figure things are a little more certain now although I realize that the way the US system is structured things can change radically very quickly.

 

While I'm talking about the US system – what the heck?!?

 

I was chatting with a colleague this morning about people waiting hours to vote. Her comment (and she should know having worked for NGOs election monitoring in East Timor of all places!) "that's what happens in third world countries."

 

I don't understand how one of the most advanced countries in the world has so much trouble holding an election. Like really – how can people all over the country vote in completely different ways. Makes no sense. Different options. different ways of voting.

 

It's so simple here. You can register to vote when you file your taxes and before an election your voting card is mailed to you telling you where to go and vote. If you haven't registered that way someone will likely visit your home prior to the election to register you. On election day you go to your polling place where you are given a ballot. You go into the booth, take a pencil and draw and X next to the candidate you want. You then put the ballot in the ballot box. It is exactly the same way in Conception Bay, Newfoundland as it is in Inuktitut, Nunavut or Montreal, Quebec. You MIGHT wait 5 – 10 minutes to vote if you go at a particularly busy time. It's so simple.

Anyway, I going to stop complaining and go and watch all the fun. Going to be a late night.

Got to say it again – wow!

Daylights Savings Time

I do believe it is fair to say that "Fall back" is kicking my fluffy derriere. Sorry this post is all I can manage today. Can't.... keep.... eyes... open a moment longer.

US Election

I'm very interested in the US election. Transfixed. Six months ago I truly didn't believe that a black man could be elected as US president in my lifetime. I still don't totally believe it and my stomach gets all butterflie when I think of Tuesday. My mother asked me the other day (in jest) who I was going to vote for because I'm watching things so closely and I guess talking about it all a little too much.

Today I tried to explain the whole thing to Kamryn. I try to explain things political to her. This is nothing new; its something I've always done. She, unlike most Canadian elementary school kids, knows who the Prime Minister and the leader of the Opposition is – as does Sam. Its stuff we talk about in kid terms. I thought given her heritage (half Kenyan/half "Canadian") Barack Obama was a particularly appropriate topic. So I tried to explain the whole black-white prejudice thing. Really hard to do in kid terms!

Then I tried to explain Barack Obama. Okay that fell completely flat. Barack Obama, according to my six year old, isn't black. Neither is she. Or her brother. Now she will readily tell you she isn't white either. She is brown. I am black and Papa is pink. Makes me feel kind of warm and happy inside (despite her rejection of her heritage) because it means that no one is teasing her or haranguing her for being "black." At her age, I didn't have it so lucky. Now she is right of course; she isn't black and her race is actually pretty hard to pin down without being given some clues. She's pretty ambiguous so maybe that is the reason for the lack of teasing. Not so her brother though and he was whom she compared to Obama: "he's not black, he's just like Sam and Sam is just like me." Okay ...

As in many of our political conversations, I quit while I was ahead. We'll talk about it again a little later. If the election turns out the way its expected she's going to study this election in history class one day, the way I studied JFK's election and hopefully be a little awestruck.

 

 

Halloween

Okay so its NaBloPoMo (or whatever) so I guess I should try. Here is a lame post to start off. Lame by its brevity not its cute content. :)

Here are Sam and Kamryn before trick or treating this evening. We had snow on the ground in morning and then by the evening they didn't even need jackets.

Warmest Halloween I've ever experienced and to think we had a snow storm two days ago.

I told them they could be whatever they wanted for Halloween as long as they wore Pirate costumes. In the end they were delighted to be pirates.

You have to click on the photos to see them properly - I don't know why but they are displying funny.

Mommy Brag and then some

So last week I had a mini-meltdown over problems Sam was having with elementary school. I didn't intend on it; it just kind of evolved from a question I asked on a bulletin board I frequent. I guess I needed the vent.

Anyway Sam and I had a big talk last Sunday about why we need to behave at school and on the bus. I asked him if it was difficult and bless his little heart he told me yes in this quiet little voice. So we made a deal that if he did well at school this week and didn't get in trouble he could have a surprise on Friday. He worked REALLY hard all week. I even got to see him in action myself as Daniel and I attended a school assembly they had - 200 kids sitting on the floor of the gymnasium for an hour of rather boring material and Sam sat and behaved the WHOLE time - many old kids got pulled out for not behaving and his class was a beehive of restless kids acting up. I was amazed by Sam's self restraint. At the end of each day he was so proud to tell me how well he was doing and on Friday since he didn't have any reportable incidents at school I took him to the Dollar store and let him buy anything he wanted (he chose a foam sword). He was so proud of himself AND he has complied all weekend with the warning that if he hit anything or anybody with the sword it will be taken away.

I'm a little in awe of this grown-up behaving little boy I'm seeing. I want to know what he did with Sam. I am aware that this is unlikely to be a completely permanent change but I'm not asking for perfection just progress and evidence of effort.

Then came the cherry on the cake - he started indoor soccer for his second year on Saturday. Last year this was a weekly disaster. He went with my his not so patient father and every week Daniel stormed in the door after soccer and ranted about how awful it was. I didn't have high hopes for this year either and was super shocked when Daniel called me after the class to tell me he was taking Sam out for "coffee" because he had been so good at soccer.

Turns out that not only did he behave but the coach is so impressed with his skills and athletic ability that he moving him to the 5/6 year old class. The coach said "if I leave him in this class [the 3/4 year old class] he's just going to use the other kids as pylons." I knew he was pretty good with a ball (any ball - last year they used to stick him in goal to give the other kids a chance at touching the ball once or twice) but I never imagined ... Advancing kids past their age group is not common in this program so the coach (who has a really good reputation) really much see something in Sam.

My only worry is that the 5/6 class is an "independent" class (the 3/4 class is a Parent and Me class). While Sam has mad skills, I'm not sure if he has the maturity to handle the independence of the older class. The coach has recognized this as well though (I think I love him) and has encouraged Daniel to "helicopter" parent a bit given that Sam will be up to two years younger than most of the kid's in the class. I'm so proud of Sam, *I* feel like I did something special - lol - and I of course did NOTHING.

Week 3

So this is week 3 of Weight Watchers. Kind of week 3 because I’m not going to meetings or anything and I didn’t weigh myself to start with so I don’t know where I started. I do know it couldn’t have been good though.

At week 3 my clothes are fitting better and I’m pleased with that but no one has noticed I have lost any weight, which is a little frustrating. I need the constant gratification. But really, there isn’t much to notice. I’ve probably dropped 5 lbs. Maybe less.

Daniel bought me a Wii Fit and I got on it last week and I was flabbergasted at how much I do weigh. Yikes. About ten pounds more than I thought. Makes sense my clothes don’t fit. I’m enormous! I’ve lost 2 – 3 pounds since getting the Wii so not all is lost. Progress is being made. SLOWLY.

Touch Down!

Well some parents feel melancholic when their last child starts elementary school. Not this time. Wednesday morning it was just an immense feeling of relief. lol I got him there and it didn't kill either of us. I'm exhausted. Never was there a child more ready to be at school than Sam.

The bus comes at 8:15. At 7:03 Sam woke me with a kiss and a warning that he didn't want to be late for the bus (i.e. get your butt out of bed Maman THIS is an important day). Normally I'm so organized but this morning I realized I hadn't labelled any of his clothes (the ones he is wearing or the spare set) or his knapsack or lunch box. Not that that took all that long.

He rode the bus to school with his sister (who was also bouncing off the walls with excitement for him) and we met him at school. I stood back where he couldn't see me and took a bunch of pictures of him just "hanging." He was a little nervous but mostly he was almost excited enough to jump out of his skin.

He's going to be a challenging student to have in the classroom. All power to praise to his teachers today and for years to come. Pictures:


Sam and his teacher at our intake interview LAST week:



Dressed (in a more Sam-friendly uniform shirt – he may never wear his white dress shirt ever again) and ready to go:



Running to the bus stop (just a wee bit excited):



Waiting for the bus:




Getting on the bus:



Arriving at school:



Off to class. He was transfixed by this little girl who I THINK the teacher put in charge of him because she realized he wasn’t going to follow calmly. That evening when I asked him if he made any friends she was who he mentioned (we know her because she is the older sister of one of older Kamryn’s friends). That’s the school Director next to them. She thinks he is cute. Little does she understand how well she will get to know him.