Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I have not disappeared. Just dealing with an intense amount of family stuff so my fingers are a little quiet. Back soon!

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

My Dad and I wrote this ...

All about Eula

Eula was born in St Lucia on the 5 of March 1922. Over 88 years — some of them, not that easy — she made the most of her life. She lived a life anyone could be proud of.

As a girl she was athletic and adventurous and got into her fair share of mischief — things like falling out of coconut trees — which is hard to believe when you considered what a proper and upstanding adult she was to become. She was most proud to represent her school on the netball team. She also had an artistic side and loved to sing and act. Indeed, she had a real flair for drama.

As a young woman, during the hardest times of the Second World War, she went to work as a sales clerk for her Godfather to help to bring up her three younger siblings.

After her Godfather, she moved to work for one of the largest department stores, on the island.

In 1959 Eula took the bold step of migrating to Canada to join her youngest sister.

Her first job in Canada was as a nanny for a Canadian family. Her caring nature endeared her to that family and them to her. Some of them have joined us today. Over the years they were never far from her heart and she mentioned the W* family often and always with a smile.

From there she joined the department store “Freimans,” a family business that was bought out by the Hudson’s Bay Company in the 70s, as an account processing clerk. Staying with Freimans and eventually the Bay she worked as a sales clerk until her retirement in the early 80s. She was a most dedicated employee and it took a great deal to keep her from her post day after day. She took her retirement somewhat reluctantly.

Eula was a people person and she was loved by all who knew her. During her retirement she spent time helping others and being a companion to older folks. Eula valued these relationships and became a trusted friend to these seniors. One even showed her appreciation for Eula’s companionship by listing Eula in her will. Indeed, Eula was always there when anyone needed help. Even in her eighties she was the one many – family and friend — relied on to take care of them when illness threatened or some crisis rose up.

Eula was very active. A real example for her neices and nephews of how to live a full life. She travelled the world — the Carribean, Europe, the Holy Land. If someone needed a travelling companion she was always eager to go along.

She kept extremely fit. She swam every day and her swimming group was surprised to find that she was about twenty years their senior.

Eula loved sports. Her favourite Football team was the Dallas Cowboys and she was an ardent Blue Jay fan. She would scream — no exaggeration — at the players on the TV and had all kind of advice for the coaches – she called them names too. When she saw a spectacular play she would immediately call her friend and exclaim “did you see that pass?”

She loved to sing and dance. When she got sick some kind lady who sat behind her in church, sent her a get well card and mentioned that she missed her singing in church.

Eula was a very religious person – never missed a church service. She made friends easily and had wonderful ones who drove to church and back.

Eula never married but family was at the centre of her being. In her old apartment there was a credenza and every square inch of that credenza was taken up with picture frames. Pictures of her brother — whom she doted upon. Of her sisters whom she revered. Of her many neices and nephews – dozens of them. And grand-neices, grand nephews; great grands and her little great-great-grand neice. She loved them all and was always ready to hear of their accomplishments and endeavors. She had a soft spot for the boys and was ever forgiving of the mischief boys get up to. She loved the little girls and ribbons and bows put a smile on her face.

Eula passed away peacefully with her family at her side.

Man plans and God laughs

So I’m sitting in our basement office. I have a half drunk (fully caffinated!) Starbucks CafĂ© Mocha at my side at my side. I’m wearing rumpled clothes that I collected off the end of my bed (my room is actually clean I just had on set of somewhat used but still useable clothes dumped at the foot of the bed – I don’t know why it’s important you know this). My hair is combed but still somewhat bed heady. I’m feeling kind of unkempt which is a big deal for me; I’m normally too uptight to unkempt. I drove the kids to school and stopped off on the way back for a Starbucks. Now I’m hiding in the basement. Working from home – doing actual work too. It feels kind good.

It hasn’t been a good week at all.

Had my Easter long weekend all planned. I’m a planner. I like to plan. Makes me feel happy. Friday I was going to sleep late and then clean the house from top to bottom til it sparkled. Around noon I would pop down the road to visit my aunt at the retirement residence. Quick visit and then home to enjoy the weather. Since the weather was supposed to be beyond gorgeous we were going to sin like Babylonians and have hamburgers for dinner (not supposed to eat meat on Good Friday). I had Daniel buy extra foodstuffs so I could casually ask the neighbours to join us (since they are ALWAYS doing that to us and I never have the opportunity to return the favour. I’m not much for spontaneity. In this instance I planned to be spontaneous). Saturday, pick up a few last things for Easter dinner on Sunday and to get Easter baskets ready for the kids. Sunday a sumptious Easter feast. A relaxing day. Monday the kids and I would pop out to watch some of the other Novice hockey teams in the semi-finals. There a perfect weekend. Man plans …

Thursday afternoon I got a call from my mother – they were taking my aunt to the hospital; she would call when she knew more. I wasn’t surprised. I had commented earlier in the week that since she wasn’t eating (she’d had a second bout of gastro-enteritis) she needed to be in the hospital so they could feed and hydrate her. Just after dinner she called to say that my aunt had a bladder infection that – untreated – had spread to her bloodstream. She had septicemia. Her kidneys were shutting down and they didn’t hold out much hope. Could I come. Off to the hospital I went. Aunty knew me when I arrived – that means a lot. By midnight when she finally got a room she was slipping into a coma that she wouldn’t come out of. She was so very cold. I didn’t think she would last until morning.

On Friday morning they withdrew all drugs. Removed her IVs. Stopped checking her vitals. We sat and waited for her to pass. All day Friday. I left the hospital at midnight. I expected a phone call in the middle of the night telling me it was over. Not my aunt. She was a strong woman. She made it through Saturday and then Sunday.

I hosted a subdued Easter for the family. My parents left my Aunt’s side to join us for a meal (my Dad REALLY needed that I think) and then returned to the hospital (after three days of virtually no change they knew they could leave for a bit). They got back to the hospital at around 9:30; Aunty passed just before 1 am on Monday morning.

It’s an awful thing literally watching someone die. It’s affected me profoundly. I don’t think I realized how much my Aunt’s passing would affect me. She was so strong; so active. I never expected her to be gone so quickly (it’s been 6 months since her stroke and I haven’t really even processed that yet). The last conversation I had with her was about how difficult this was and that I knew it was hard and I was sorry. I know her passing was for the better but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Daniel left early Monday morning for his friend Grant’s funeral in Winnipeg. The funeral was yesterday. He’ll be back sometime tomorrow. I’m kind of trapped here alone because someone needs to watch the kids. Monday was a very odd day. At dinner I brought the kids and all the leftover Easter food (in a prelude to the food avalanche that was yesterday when ALL their friends delivered food) to my parents house so that everyone (Aunts and cousins that were hanging about) could eat.

Yesterday I went to work in a fog and left early. I came home and helped write the obit and the eulogy. Then there was the mechanics of taking care of the kids – who I’ve sorely neglected. Maya had a school project to do today that I helped her through last night but poor Dominic had to remind me that they needed dinner. They happily munched on sandwiches made from leftover ham and leftover crudites but it seemed like a rather pathetic offering to me. I have some leftover lamb for them tonight – a hot meal at least. Thank heavens for my family inherited habit of cooking too much food for holidays.

Today I thought better of going into work. Thus the rumpled clothes and the attempt to find comfort in my empty home. It’s raining today. I like rainy days at home.

So I’m going to finish off a speech I need to have off to my subject matter experts for vetting by noon and then I think I might try to put the house in some kind of order. I also have to get a hold of my brother (who can’t be here through no fault of his own) who is worried about how Dad is handling all this (not well) and assure him that I’m paying attention and trying my best here.

Sigh.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

It's like summer today...

I can't remember an Easter like this. The temperature is something between 15 and 20 degrees warmer than it normally is this time of year. Tomorrow I will risk eternal damnation (eating meat on Good Friday) because I NEED to barbecue (God will understand no?). Loving it!