Monday, February 06, 2006

One of those days (I'm just whining, pay no attention)

So I’m having one of those days that tells me I’m not cut out to be a stay-at-home-mom. I love my kids dearly and I cherish this time I get to spend with them but its days like this that get to me. It is freaking cold out so no playing outside. Both the kids had “activities” this morning. Kamryn had preschool and Sam and I went to a toddler music class (always a challenge with him). It is as if while they were out someone slipped each of them a couple of bennies because when we got back to the house at 11:30 they were just out-of-control hyperactive. Mayhem ensued.

Bad mommy moment here – at one point I just had had it with telling them to calm down and leave each other alone and figured if they wanted to wrestle fine – they would stop when of them started wailing (I figured how much could they really hurt each other they each weigh within 5 pounds of one another). Luckily for all of us I guess, no one hurt anyone else. They are napping now (probably the source of the hyperness was overtiredness).

Today, I want a day off (never realized the SAHM don’t get those; they need a union). I want to go out to lunch with a girlfriend (hahahahaha like that’s going to happen; maybe I’m a crappy friend as all my girlfriends seem to have deserted me). I want to have a massage. I want to come home to happy quietly playing kids, bathed and ready for bed. Nope, not going to happen. Daniel is working and that means I won’t see him until the kids are bathed and ready for bed (most likely in bed). The house needs cleaning up from yesterday’s Superbowl “party” (if my parents constitute party guests) and the kids will both be awake in less than an hour and needing to be entertained so I better “buck up and get to ‘er”.

One thing that has got me bummed is Sam’s music class. Well not the class per se but the skills of the other kids in the class. I hate going to this class with Sam because while all the other kids listen intently and sit quietly (not through the whole class but most of it) he’s like dealing with a Tiger Cub with a rash. He squirms and pulls and screeches if you don’t let him go. If you do let him go things just deteriorate and he becomes more than a little disruptive. He wasn’t too bad this morning. Not perfect but we didn’t have to leave the room. Still it’s a tiring experience for me (he has made soooo much progress though so it’s worth going). I haven’t been since before Christmas as Daniel’s work schedule has made it so that he could go with him (and as I mentioned I HATE going).

Today, I observed the other kids in the class. The gap in his language skills is becoming more and more obvious. He’s just not picking things up. Kids who were a little ahead of him are now light years and there is no denying there is a problem. My fear is though that it is more than just a problem with language (especially given the behavior issues we have). Is his inability to learn language an indication of other learning problems. I think he was the only kid in the class today that didn’t know (or care?) what sounds different animals make. My cousin’s son, 4 months younger than Sam, just parrots them off. His grandmother, my aunt (who I can’t stand), keeps bragging about his skills and commenting in a snide way about why we aren’t concerned about Sam’s “lack of progress.” Well, I’ve pretty much been dismissing it as something we haven’t worked a lot on. Today really brought the point home how far behind he is. :(
I’m also REALLY tired of the screaming/crying/whining. If things aren’t going EXACTLY the way he wants them to he dissolves into tears. If he has trouble getting a toy to work the way he wants it and you won’t do it for him; if Kamryn has a toy he wants; if you don’t get him out of the car fast enough etc. etc. and lo an behold if you put him “in time out.” You can’t wait to let him stop screaming (literally screaming) because well he’d be in his pack and play for the rest of his natural life. He will cry until he throws up and will not calm himself down or quiet down or even pause. How can you ignore a tantrum if it NEVER stops. I thank God he sleeps well because this is one child who could never cry himself to sleep. Sigh, I’m tired.

On a good note, Kamryn passed her first level of swimming lessons easily on her first try this weekend. I was proud of her. She isn’t the best listener in swim class and on Saturday she was extra good. It was an easy Saturday for all of us. Normally, she has gymnastics first thing in the morning (having both activities on the same day was a 3-week overlap of classes that couldn’t be helped). Anyway, she goes to gymnastics for 8:30. Daniel picks us up and I drive him to work for 9:30. Then we come home and the kids get snacks. Then I drive Sam to my parents so that I can take Kamryn to her swimming lesson at noon. Then Kamryn and I grab lunch and then back to get Sam and home so everyone can have naps. I hate it. This Saturday, for the first time since before Christmas, Daniel wasn’t working AND gymnastics was on an off week. So we hung out until 11:00 or so when Kamryn and I left to run some errands and go to her swim class. I’m sure her extra attentiveness was due to not being all tired out already. After class we had a Mom and Daughter lunch and then did the grocery shopping. She was a wonderful little companion and we had a good time.

Wednesday we go for our “interview” at the school we are trying to get her in to. I don’t know if I mentioned it here (I don’t think so) but we got a registration package in the mail a few weeks ago. The session we are attending is described in the package as a registration session. I THINK we are “in” but I’m quite confused so I could be wrong. I’m sure things will get clarified on Wednesday. I’m anxious to know.

I’m wracking my mind here to mention something positive about Sam right now and sadly can’t think of anything. :( There are things; just not easily describable I guess. He is a lovable little boy. He has a smile that could melt icebergs and a wicked sense of humour. He’s also really smart. He’s recently become really attached to a stuffed big bird that he got for Christmas. It’s really adorable to watch. He loves to dance and it cracks me up to watch him “get down.” He just takes a lot of patience.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Girl, Haven't written in a while, although I have been keeping up with you guys. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and all that stuff. I was just reading about Sam and his development and it really reminds me of my Andrew, you know its really hard to have a girl and a boy because you really can tell the difference in their development. Boys are just way different in their development. But Andrew has a speech delay and we had him tested throughout his five years. You may want to have that done, they may recommend speech therpy which did wonders for Andrew in so many other ways like helping him to sit and attend. But his teacher told us that Andrew like most children would speak normally by Age 8 and we have watched him porgress so much and now at five he uses words and phrases just as he should, now when you add excitment in there we sometimes have to have him repeat somethings but he is doing great, if I could just get him a little more interested in school. He was born at 29 weeks and he seem to catch up with his classmates about three months later. I have already planned on repeating Kindergarden we have him in a private Christian School and I love it but they write in cursive and Andrew is not there yet so this year is just preperation for Kindergarden next year. Hang in there, but its not a bad idea to have his develooment checked. PS I think its great to go to Disney now, I get the same thing from my firends and all I tell them is we plan on going agian and again. We have already been to Niagra Falls twice with Andrew and we are taking them both to Hawaii this Summer.