First day of school and I'm obsessing over someone else's child.

Ugh! Well at least I'm not worried about my own who went off happily. My neighbour's son – let’s call him Max, started at my children's school today. He's been in a private "bilingual" Montessori school for 4 years. He's a very bright, cheerful and vibrant child with some issues/delays related to ADHD. When his mother called me last night and told me she wasn't going to accompany him on his first day because he asked her not to I told her it was a bad idea not to go (in the end maybe it was a good idea – with his mother there, there may have been some tears -- although I sure do think he could have used his mother this morning). Anyway we told her we would look out for him and make sure he got to the right class etc. He's good friends with my Kamryn but they're in different grades (she's in 2nd and he's in 1st; they are 6 months apart in age) and I don't think he realized he couldn't just stay with her all day. When we got to the school it was so obvious how overwhelmed he was.

The school is a French-language school and only French is allowed to be spoken. Poor kid got on the school bus and before it even pulled away I heard the school bus driver explaining to him how he is not allowed to speak English on the bus. Max’s father is francophone but his mother like me is Anglophone (I don't think I've ever heard her speak French.) They speak English at home, as far as I can tell, exclusively.

Daniel and I have spoken French with our kids since they were infants. Daniel ONLY speaks French with them and the kids flip back and forth from one language to the other with relatively accentless ease. I worried so much in the early years that they would have difficulties in school because of language - neither of them do. They correct my awful French quite regularly. They really are francophone kids – I say this because they think in French. I know this because Kamryn translates obviously in her head when speaking English. She will take a French expression and just change it to English and it doesn’t work – but it’s terribly cute and her evil mother doesn’t correct her (“One chance…” = une chance or in English, “isn’t it lucky”; “It makes nothing…”= Ca fait rien or in English (very loose translation), “it doesn’t matter” oh how I love hearing her say things like that).


Most of the kids at their school come from households where the only language ever spoken is French. I don't think I've ever heard Max speak French; certainly not this morning. Whenever I said anything in French to him he looked at me with this blank uncomprehending look on his little face. He’s had as I said 4 years in a bilingual Montessori but that doesn’t hold up against his classmates who’ve been in class morning and afternoon in French for two years now, who play in French on the playground and who go home and speak French with their parents.

It was so hard to leave him with his class – all of whom knew each other and were chattering away and ignoring the new kid who didn’t speak the language with anywhere near the facility needed. I introduced him to his teacher (a wonderful teacher my daughter had last year and who is fully aware of his situation) and told him to stay with her; he followed me away. I brought him back; he followed me again. Finally his teacher took his hand to make him stay with her.

I hate it that his parents have done this to him (its takes discipline to speak two languages in the home but it’s not hard; he didn't have to start school so far behind). I've been worried about him all day. Our neighbours across the street did the exact same thing (only worse because there was no bilingual school first) to their son. At 4 years old they took this English kid and stuck him in an all French jr. Kindergarten. He lasted until December when they HAD to take him out because he was so miserable.

This isn’t necessary. There are good immersion programs around – everywhere here. You don’t have to subject your kids to this misery just because you as a parent don’t want to do the homework. Yes, they will speak better French in a French-language school rather than in immersion but that’s the trade-off you make when you decide that your pre-schooler really doesn’t need to speak French yet.

Daniel and I were at the school last week helping to set up classrooms (the school moved campuses over the holidays – don’t know if I’ve mentioned this already and I’m too lazy to check.) We were mentioning to some teachers that we know well that our neighbours children were transferring from their private Montessori to the school. When we mentioned that they didn’t speak French at home – the expression on their faces said it all.

I knew Max would have some trouble but until this morning I don’t think I ever realized how little French he actually spoke. His sister is only 4 and will have an easier time of it as she’s had the bilingual Montessori and will have some extra time to pick up the language skills before it matters since she’s only in Jr. K. But poor Max has been dumped into the fast moving waters of grade 1 and I don’t know if he can stay afloat. I’ve worried about him all day. I really hope he had a good day.

P.S. Can you tell I'm back to work? I'm going to make a real effort to continue posting regularly. I enjoyed my little spree this summer. Its a nice stress release (not that I was all that stressed while on vacation lol).