Surprise. Hope you had no plans for the weekend!

So on Wednesday the hospital calls for some pre-op information from me. She finishes the call by saying so you’re lap is scheduled for Friday. And I respond, “no, it’s scheduled for March 10th”. “No,” she says, “it’s down for Friday, didn’t your doctor tell you?” ummmm…..NO!

Sigh. So I call Daniel and it turns out he can’t even get Friday off work – so I’m pissed at him – oh I was mad at him. Work basically walks all over him and he lets them. He doesn’t even have a full time position with them – nor will he ever get one! They really abuse him. I'd actually still be mad at him but he had this little "oh woe is me, everyone is mad at me, pout" on Thurday evening that was so pathetic it would have melted icebergs. Anyway, so Daniel can’t get Friday off work. I work things out with my parents to take the kids. I have to rush down the next day for all my pre-op bloodwork etc.

My surgery is scheduled for 1:40 in the afternoon. No food or drink from 11:00 the night before. ‘k I’m fine with that. My father drops me off and I just kind of sit around and wait being basically ignored. Seems the Day surgery unit was really busy (lots of people sitting around complaining about how delayed their surgery times are.) I’m parked in the corner and honestly no one was paying me any attention. I was almost positive at any moment someone would come and ask me my name and tell me that I wasn’t supposed to be there until March 10th. Oddly though, my surgery was on time. The anesthesiologist (who was an awesome guy!) visited and my doctor visited and chatted with me but I had no questions so they were short conversations. The nurses who were basically ignoring me never even TRIED to start an IV so suddenly they were calling me for surgery and everyone was wondering where my IV was. In the end that wasn’t so bad since when the anesthesiologist (that’s a hard word to spell) tried in the OR he couldn’t find a vein – anywhere! Well he did find a good one in my neck but joked that generally women preferred he stayed away from their necks as it leaves an awful green bruise. So they had to put me out with gas and then put the IV in (veins rise to the surface when we sleep apparently). The other amusing/odd thing was that the pulsox monitor wouldn’t work. I have Raynaud’s Syndrome (the capilliaries in my hands and feet spasm cutting off the circulation when I’m cold or stressed) and they did a good job of keeping me freezing so no wonder. The anesthesiologist kept teasing me about being difficult and that he would just have to hold my hand (I think that was his way of discretely checking my pulse without freaking me out lol).

So it turns out I am a hypochondriac. No real explanation for the pain I keep experiencing on my right side. She did fine a miniscule amount of endo but on my LEFT side. She lazered that. On the right side all she found was fluid (don’t know why that was there) which she drained but that’s it. So kind of a waste of time for all of us. She really wants me to go on the Pill which I really don’t want to do and I’m sure her little pregnant self doesn’t understand. It’s not that I’m waiting on the miracle pregnancy (another kid would actually cause some problems for us) I just don’t want to have to take the stupid pill! Ah well. I might have to. She commented that the pain my just “go away” after having had the gas in my abdomen. I find that a little unlikely though. We’ll see and hope.

After 4 days I’m pretty much healthy and back to normal. Daniel took over the kids from Friday night on. It’s the first time he’s really done what I do everyday (take care of the two of them full time, no help). He’s done well but it’s hard and I know that now he knows how hard it is.

Okay, it’s WAY past noon and I haven’t got up yet. Daniel took the kids to the playground at the mall. If he comes home and finds me still in bed he’s going to grumble. Must get up and pretend to have been up and about for hours. lol

Sam is sick

Not going to the hospital sick. Not even sure he is need a doctor sick. He is just having a rougher time with the cold that both Kamryn and I have already weathered. His seems to have moved to his chest and today he's running a slight temp. I think I will call the Doctor tomorrow just to have her check and make sure his ears are clear.

I mention this only because he's also really pleasant as a sick kid. He's not acting particularly sick ('cept he's not sleeping well). He's just a little more subdued than normal and it's so nice to have him this way. He's not bouncing off the walls in his normal superball on speed manner. He's cuddly in a "not changing my mind and wanting to get up and down every three seconds" way.

Don't know how long this will last; might be over by dinner but is it bad to like your kid more when he's sick than when he's healthy? That sounds awful. It's just he's slowed down enough for us to enjoy him properly and completely rather than in dribs and drabs.

I'm also doing the mother cub thing a bit I think. Fawning over him and cuddling more because I know he's not feeling well. I'm probably more enjoyable to him right now too. Probably a two-way street here. Poor guy really sounds awful.

Okay enough musings for me. I better go finish cooking dinner.

I am a bad mother ...

My three and a half year old knows the words to "I Want to Be a Rockstar." She was singing

"the girls come easy and the drugs come cheap"

the other day. Much to Daniel's chagrin. As we were leaving the concert the other night Daniel was relaying the story of our daughter knowing the lyrics to a couple we were squished beside. The other guy countered with the story of his friend's 12-year old singing the Barbie song. Daniel looked at him blank faced and said, "our daughter is three" and the guy cracked up.

I guess I should find some good Christian music to play in the car. lol Maybe I should go back to Carmen Campagne (french kid's performer). Nickelback is so much more me though. I had gotten REALLY tired of the Monkeys, another Maya favorite.

I'm going to change the address of this blog.

It has been bothering me for some time that I typed "hypen" instead of "hyphen" when I created this blog. It's a typo born out of haste and impulsivity rather than a spelling mistake and I really need to fix it or go mad.

I'll do it soon but I needed a way to warn people so they can still find me - as riveting as my writing is I'm afraid I'm going to lose people. :(

There is some meaning behind "hyphen haven" but you'd have to "know" me offline to understand. It has to do with the total ridiculousness of my name. Through no fault of my own (well some fault as I screwed up my last name completely on my own with no help from anyone) I have ended up with an extremely long name with hyphens in BOTH my first and last names.

First name well that was my parents fault. My last name... well I can blame them too. I need to blame them for something. When I was getting married I really wanted to be "Mrs. T." but I also didn't want to give up my place at the front of the alphabet. Having a last name that begins with A is so very convenient. So not wanting people to think I'm crazy and make fun of me behind my back I figured I would simply change my name. I would elminate the hypen from my first name and just squish the two names together (they would have squished together just fine) and I would hypenate my last name giving me the freedom to use both or either of my last "names" as I liked. My parents freaked when I told them my plans for my first name. "We chose your name very carefully, we protected it all these years" yada yada yada. Okay so trying to please everyone I left all the hypens where they were. Now I have a double barrelled first and last name and well ... people think I'm nuts. They do not though as I fear talk behind my back about it. They are quite up front with their opinions and regularly laugh in my face - total strangers even! Sometimes I explain. Sometimes I just smile. When I introduce myself I tend to dump the latter part of both names - eventually they find out me "real" name but it makes introductions less cumbersome.

Anyway that's how/why I picked the url for this blog. Kind of ironic considering I have changed all names in this blog to protect the innocent (whoever they may be). I am, by the way, reconsidering that decision as I seem to be very bad at sticking to that plan.

Kid-Free Night

Daniel and I had a kid-free night last night. Dropped the kids off at my parents yesterday afternoon and went to see Nickelback play their last night of their Canadian tour.

Nickelback was awesome! Had a great time. We had general admission tickets because that was all I could get (that was all I thought was available). But that is what you get when you buy tickets less than a month before the concert. I suspect when tickets were first released we could have gotten ticketed seats. Anyways we arrived in time for the 1st opening act (there were two Deco Jones (pass) and Live (awesome!)) and as we walked down to the floor I said to Daniel let’s just sit in some seats and if no one claims them they are ours. So we sat down, about ten rows up from the floor in seats I suspect went for more than a hundred dollars a pop. People kept walking in front of us to get to the aisle so we moved up a row. After the opening act, someone came and claimed the seats we were in so we moved down a couple of rows to better seats. After a bit, a single guy came and claimed our two seats so we moved over two seats and there we stayed for the whole concert. Excellent seats – and it was a packed house so we really lucked out. Poor guy next to us sat by himself. He had obviously been stood up and I felt so bad for him. He kept checking his cell phone.

Okay people brought kids to this concert! Little kids (there was a 6 year old sitting in front of me). I’m sure the parents with their progeny appreciated the woman on the floor sitting her boyfriend’s shoulders who pulled down her tank top and massaged her breasts through one entire song – her image projected on the screen behind the band. Ottawa is a pretty tame place and it was a pretty tame crowd (the “mosh pit” was at most people jostling a little to be at the front of the crowd). Nevertheless, I don’t understand – Floor seats were $60 – that would pay for a babysitter people!

Anyway, my ears still hurt. I was wearing earplugs but I foolishly (consciously but still foolishly) pulled them out whenever they played a song I really liked which was pretty often. It was loud. I was kinda sad when it ended that they didn’t play what has become one of my favorite songs, “I Wanna be a Rockstar” but understood they couldn’t play everything. Then they came back and played it as the first song in their Encore so I left completely satisfied and babbling to my very understanding husband who is NOT a Nickelback fan. He has taken to calling me “his wife the metalhead.”

It was nice to have a night to ourselves. Daniel and I hit a new restaurant on the way home and had some munchies. Restaurant was unimpressive but it was good to have the adult time. Then home exhausted to bed, long day. I woke up at 9:45 this morning. Felt awesome to sleep in. Didn’t make it out of bed until almost 12:00! For all you people with dirty minds we, mostly, ;) watched the Olympics on TV. Feeling really well rested, after a nice breakfast, we collected our happy and tired children from my parents. They both fell asleep in the car on the way home and are napping now. I think the entire family had a banner weekend even though we were apart. I used to dread being separated from Kamryn but in retrospect, a short (can’t handle more than 24 hours yet) break now and again is probably good for the whole family.

Infertility Central

So I took Kamryn to gymnastics this morning. It seems that gymnastics it infertility central. Last week, one of the Moms (a Mom of triplets +1) and one of the Dads were talking about the fertility clinic we all used and how it had moved etc. etc. etc. Today the subject of infertility came up again – different Moms. Clueless Moms. They weren’t talking to me but I would have said something had I been sitting closer to them (I was at the other end of a long table and couldn’t have spoken to them discreetly). I could nevertheless hear their conversation clearly and had been chatting back and forth with them about other things. They were talking about an acquaintance of theirs who had endometriosis and “everytime they save enough money they just go for another insemination. What she should be thinking about is all the advantages to not having children. All the freedom you get. All the extra money you have. I love my daughter dearly but … blah blah blah blah blah”

Okay, part of me was appalled and part of me understood completely the absolutely clueless place they were coming from. Don’t they understand the exclusive club they are part of and how hard it is to get in for some of us. It’s a whole OTHER world that you aren’t allowed entry to without the late nights and early mornings; without the oodles of money spent on gymnastics lessons and hockey equipment; without the hours spent looking for batman masks for your son’s fourth birthday party or the silk blouse that you had to throw out because your daughter spilled grape juice down the back. Being the “special aunt” doesn’t cut it. It’s a whole world that you aren’t privy too and it’s a world you’ve been promised from the time you were in diapers. From the outside, it looks like paradise and nothing else measures up. Yes, there are people out their that would prefer to spend their money, time, lives… on other things but for infertile parent want-to-bes it’s torturous.

It is impossible to articulate how much my world has changed since I picked Kamryn up that first time. It’s a challenging life, parenting, but I can’t imagine doing anything else. I don’t know what my life would be like without Kamryn and Sam. I can’t imagine wanting to be here anymore, if forced to stay on the outside looking in.

Maybe it’s good that I was too far away to talk to these women. One, they probably would have thought I was a freak. Two, I don’t think I’m articulating things very well and sitting here in front of the computer I actually have time to think about what to say and I’m STILL having problems. Ah well. Even though or maybe because I know their attitudes are so common, I’m a little sad at how little the average fertile women understands.

Pregnant Doctors and Birthmother worries

It’s the very definition of blustery out. It was 2 C when we got up this morning supposedly (was supposed to be 8!) and now, at 2 pm, well it’s about –12 and falling. The wind is blowing… hard! It was pushing out truck around on the highway like it was a tinker toy. Brrrrr… We had to go out too because today was the day “my friends” come over. Kamryn calls the maids we have who come to clean every two weeks my friends. Lol Friends who come and clean your home from top to bottom are the best type of friends to have.

Started my morning with a visit to the gynecologist. My pregnant gynecologist. Ugh! I was sitting in the waiting room of the clinic (it’s a multi-disciplinary clinic) and congratulating myself for not having to sit in a waiting room full of pregnant women and then my doctor walks into the examination room with a basketball under her shirt. Sigh. Can’t win. She is due next month and looks fabulous of course. Tall and thin with the perfect basketball stomach.

Anyway, we’re going to do a lap next month and see if I have endo for sure (I still don’t think I do but we’ll see). Luckily she has had a cancellation (I keep thinking some lucky lady got pregnant even though this doctor isn’t an RE) so I get to go on the 10th. My next choice we September. I wasn’t waiting until September (not that I would have had a choice if the March 10th date wasn’t open). We have tickets to go to Disney on Ice with Kamryn’s best friend and her family on the the 12th. This is my biggest worry. I really want to go and think I will depending on, I guess, what they find. If it’s an easy one I think I should be able to handle it. Like really, I’m not skating in the show. Daniel can drop me at the door and I just have to sit in a seat and watch Mickey for an hour. We’ll see.

I took that Lupron shot back in November and it was wonderful. I didn’t cycle again until last week. I’m going to ovulate early next week though and I’m already uncomfortable so I’m not looking forward to this cycle. It’s going to hurt but I'm thinking it won’t kill me. The doctor did offer me some birth control if I wanted. I didn’t. I could always take another Lupron shot as well but they are freaking expensive and I really don’t like the idea of more drugs. Surgery I’m fine with though. I’m a nut.

Got an e-mail from Sam’s adoption agency earlier this week askng about our arrangements with Sam’s birthmother because the social worker had a voice mail from her and wanted to make sure she had all her information lined up before she called her back. I immediately panicked thinking there must be a problem. Sam’s birthmother has as her contact with us, my cell number. I had a disagreement with my cell phone provider earlier this month and I’m punishing them (ya right!) by not putting any money on the phone (it’s a pay as you go). My phone is more of a paperweight than anything else. It rings quite regularly but the calls aren’t ever for me (lots of wrong numbers). The only people who really have the number are my parents – for when the are watching the kids and Daniel and Sam’s birthmother. I completely forgot about that being a link to her or I would have had it fixed sooner although she has only called us once that way. However, she has our e-mail address, we have exchanged e-mail and pictures recently (last month) so she can always contact us that way and we are happy to call her. We had no contact prior to last month because she had "dropped out" and we had no way of reaching her - all our contact had been with Sam’s grandmother. Last month (I think at Nana’s urging) she called and talked with Daniel. At that point, we exchanged our e-mail addresses etc. and I sent her pretty much everything I had been sending to Nana. We told her that we would send an e-mail with pictures once a month and that she could call when she wanted.

We had a "problem" with Sam’s Step-grandfather and Aunt over Christmas and I know they went and told his birthmother all sorts of awful things that really upset her - thus the call after Christmas. They wanted to send Sam a Christmas present. They do not have our mailing address and we didn't want them to have it because we didn't trust them not to give to his birthmother. As I have mentioned previously I think, she has some problems and we didn't want to open the door one Saturday morning and find her standing there - surprise! Her not having our address is something that both the adoption agency and Nana had strongly recommended. Nana had called to ask whether it was okay for her to give it to them or not. We told her at this time we preferred they not get it and that if they wanted to send something they could either send it to her and she could forward or use the adoption agency as the intermediary and we would pay the shipping. This was not "acceptable" to them and they have cut us off (stupid since the only person who gets hurt here is Sam but nothing we can do about it).

Anyway, I was worried that even after the great exchange we had last month that there was still a problem. We tried to reassure her that she was entitled to much more than her Step-father and Step-Sister and that we would NEVER cut her off. Still, her level of understanding is not always very good and her Step-father is a “real piece of work.” So I worried and worried and worried. Turns out she just wanted to call the social worker to “chat ... to let her know how cute Sam looks in the pictures we've sent and how he and Kamryn look like they belong together.”

She wanted the social worker’s e-mail address again to send her some pictures. Sounds like Samantha. She’s really young (I mean more than chronologically) and looks for validation and that’s all it was. I’m happy that she knows that Sam is happy.

Nana, who we spoke with last week, told me that she thinks she has convinced her to stop getting pregnant which is such a relief. This had been a big problem.

So all sorts of drama with nothing really to worry about. :)

More on Schools: An embarrassment of riches

"The house backs on to a park and schoolyard. Within easy sight and shouting distance of the backyard there is an elementary school, community centre, play
structure, baseball diamond, skating rink, tennis courts, basketball hoops and a soccer field. In addition to the school in our backyard, there is another elementary school and a high school both within easy walking distance (5 minutes) of the house."

The above is a quote from our Dear Birthparent letter. This whole issue with Kamyrn's "new" school has me thinking. We live in school central, that was one of the things we were sure to tell both kids birthfamilies about. Let's me write out a little legend to help keep things straight:

School A = Backyard School
School B = Nearby Perfect School
School C = So Now I need a bus School
School D = So I can't handle instruction in French
School E = Just cause their aren't enough schools let's add another

There really is a HUGE elementary school in our backyard, school A. Most of the other families on our street I am positive (by the looks of incredulity we get quite regularly) think we're a little odd in our conviction that neither of our kids will go there. School A is a good school with an excellent French immersion programme and well it's the backyard. They can walk to school out a back gate in our fence should we choose to install such a gate. We have always been adamant that French school is better than French immersion and I don't know why any parent with that option would settle to less. The difference though is the effort the parents must put in (which I know is the case with two of our biggest critics). If you want to send your kid to school in French as opposed to a French programme for English kids you have to commit to speaking in French in the home. Big commitment there - if you don't, unless you have really gifted kids they are going to struggle (some can handle it I know two amazing teenagers that only speak French at school but have done amazingly well). Anyway, having a school in the backyard makes you wonder if settling for the easy route may not be so bad. Anyway, it's a public school and that was something we also knew we didn't want to settle for. I went to Catholic school (Catholic schools are funded by the government here but belong to a separate school board) and I still have a bias that they are better (I find they have a stronger community spirit). So that excluded School A.

The next closest school, School B. is at the end of our street a 5 minute walk from the house. It is French and catholic. This is the school we had always assumed our kids would go to when we moved here and our street was literally an island in the middle of a farmer's field. This was the school we spoke about with the kids birthfamilies - how we were their perfect choice because we lived near a good school. lol. Okay due to some bizarre zoning issues that we found out about when Kamryn was about a year old we are not eligible to send our kids to the school at the end of the block. We live on the East side of the street the school is on. The school is on the west side. The road the school is on is the boundary and we are on the wrong side.

So we were relagated to School C. School C isn't all that far away. I timed it last summer. As an adult I could walk to the school, leisurely, in 11 minutes. It does however cross 4 lanes of busy 80 km/h traffic. Our kids wouldn't be walking to school. They would be bussed until grade 8. Seems utterly preposterous considering School B is so close. I had considered making a stink about (I'm sure many parents already had) until two things happened. A neighbour who's kids started at School B school and then were forced to move to School C raved about how much better she thought School C was. Now this really doesn't mean all that much. This is an utterly homogeneous community. Most households are made up of at least one individual who works for the federal government. It has one of the highest (if not the highest) per capita income in the country (not because everyone is rich; just no one is poor) and overwhelming majority of adult residents have completed either community college or university (more have been to university than college even). (These are stats from the 2001 Census; I suspect it's even "worse/better" now as a large number of sizable single family homes have been built since 2001. http://www.ctv.ca/mini/election2006/preelections/riding35063.html ) My point is that as uniformly middle class as this area is all the schools are about the same. Still it helps to hear someone loves a school your kids are going to go to. The other thing is Kamyrn's best friend lives right next to School C and the two should be going to school together. That seemed nice (okay I'm a suck). I'm still kind of sad that that won't happen.

Now we had a back up plan in case the kids couldn't handle school in French. That would be School D and E both English catholic schools equidistant from our house. I'm not sure which school they would be zoned for because they are both so close although School D is across the same scary road as School C.

So now, although living around an unreal amount of elementary school - all good we have chosen to drive our kids 10 minutes down the road to this other school - so they won't be able to walk to school. I am, nevertheless, so psyched about this school!

Trapped Inside

Yesterday, a french elementary school not to far from here had to close because over 1/3 of their teachers and students had to be sent home (or I guess were already at home) with Norovirus. It was a big enough story (or perhaps a slow enough news day (should have asked Daniel who cut the story)) to make the 6'oclock news. I can't handle Norovirus right now. As I told Claude this morning: I have a rotten cold (I feel like I shovelled Coal all night), AF is here; I can't handle throwing up kids or for the matter throwing up me on top of it all.

It may already be too late (last time Norovirus visted it respected it's 5-day incubation period almost to the hour). Kamryn was a preschool on both Monday and Wednesday with kids who no doubt have siblings that go to the "infected" school. We spent Tuesday morning running around an indoor park at the mall with kids who also probably go to this school (although if memory serves I didn't hear much french being spoken. ) I'm hoping my judicious use of Purell whenever we leave that Park might save me. Today you couldn't get me to leave the house with these kids if you paid me HUGE sums of money.

We're in hiding. It's - 14 C (6 F) out so no playing outside either. Just went upstairs and got them ALL our extra pillows so they are having a whale of time with that. Don't know how long that will last. I don't have the energy to be all that creative as this cold is just kicking my butt but I'm trying to keep the TV/DVD player off as long as possible. This of course will all be undone on Sunday because they have a birthday party to go to (next door) and it would be cruel not to let them attend if everyone is healthy. Lordy I hate Norovirus, when we had it last year I don't think I've ever felt more awful. We actually had to send Kamryn away because we were too sick to take care of her.

We are in!

Kamryn is now a proud student of École élémentaire catholique d’enseignement personnalisé La Source (quite a mouthful eh?). Daniel thinks they have messed up somewhere (as do I) but I don't think there is anything they can do about it now (without lots of people having egg on their faces and much indignant yelling from us). There is a chance that they haven't messed up though.

We arrived for our interview this afternoon and it was VERY clear that it wasn't an information session but a registration session. So we registered her, had a long chat with the director about the philosophy of the school etc. etc., the fact that they are building a new building that will open in 2008 and the fact that they are instituting a follow-on program starting in September at what will be Kamryn's eventual highschool/middle school. Kamryn had a little tour and visited the kindergarten on her own (well with a teacher tour guide) and made some crafts.

After we talked about everything, we brought up the fact that no one had told us that there was actually a spot for Kamryn at the school and we thought we were just on the waiting list. She looks surprised and asked when we had put Kamryn on the waiting list. I told her last month and she commented that we were lucky to get her in since the school is full right through the 2008 school year. I think more than luck was at work here (I think someone mixed up the paperwork somewhere). Even better though, because Kamryn is now a student, Sam is guaranteed a spot. Now all we have to do is wait until May when we will be invited back to the school to try on and purchase all the uniforms we need. We're holding on to our appointment with our neighbourhood school (for May) just in case they do decide they have made an error (really I can't believe we were this lucky). We'll cancel it after we go to the uniform buying session.

Got to love my kids...

So Sam got up from his nap and I was in the middle of something. Kamryn asked if she could go up and see him and I sent her to placate him. Well things were REALLY quiet so I turned the monitor up....

She's upstairs in his room reading to him. :)

Going to Disney... Next Year

Another happy note to balance my last entry.

We are planning a trip to Disney for next year. We seriously contemplated it for this year but figured Sam would not be occupied enough being too little and a bored Sam is a screaming miserable Sam. Next year he should be able to enjoy it a little more. We want to go and stay in the Magic Kingdom at one of the resorts. This idea has been poo-pooed by some of my friends. If I had a nickel for every time someone told me “why go if they won’t remember it?” Hunh? I don’t get the logic there just because they won’t have distinct memories of it does that mean we can’t do anything fun with them? Also, it’s a trade-off. I know because my parents waited “until we would remember it.” I was 11. At 11 there isn’t much magic left. Cinderella is a lady in a dress. Next year I know Cinderella will still be Cinderella for Kamryn. I’m looking forward to them experiencing the “Magic” because without that it’s really just another huge amusement park.

I’ve also been told it’s a nightmare with young kids. You can’t tell me that they designed this multi-billion dollar park complex for children and totally neglected things for kids under 5 to do?!? Lol These excuses for not going really sound like excuses to me. My SIL’s family used the same excuses. Their kids are now 12, 14, and 18 and they haven’t been yet. I think they would probably remember it now.

So what if they can’t go on ALL the rides. There are so many more things to do than just rides. When we were there for our honeymoon (8 years ago?!?) they were just about to open the Animal Kingdom. I am looking forward to seeing the park opened among other things. We want to take a week and take it easy, not spend each and every day park hopping rather do things are the spirit moves us. If we went to hang out in our pajamas in the hotel for the day, so be it. The idea is to have a family vacation where my kids have some fun.

I asked on one of the Inciid boards what people thought and heard enough good reports from people who had actually done it to discount the negative “support” of my friends and family. We’re thinking next January would be a good time to go as that seems to be off season. When we were on our honeymoon it was off season too (first week of September) and the lines were manageable. The lines are the only thing about Disney that I worry about. That and hurricanes. Lol On our honeymoon we “weathered: Hurricane Earl as it was it only sideswiped Florida. Think we are pretty safe in January.

One of those days (I'm just whining, pay no attention)

So I’m having one of those days that tells me I’m not cut out to be a stay-at-home-mom. I love my kids dearly and I cherish this time I get to spend with them but its days like this that get to me. It is freaking cold out so no playing outside. Both the kids had “activities” this morning. Kamryn had preschool and Sam and I went to a toddler music class (always a challenge with him). It is as if while they were out someone slipped each of them a couple of bennies because when we got back to the house at 11:30 they were just out-of-control hyperactive. Mayhem ensued.

Bad mommy moment here – at one point I just had had it with telling them to calm down and leave each other alone and figured if they wanted to wrestle fine – they would stop when of them started wailing (I figured how much could they really hurt each other they each weigh within 5 pounds of one another). Luckily for all of us I guess, no one hurt anyone else. They are napping now (probably the source of the hyperness was overtiredness).

Today, I want a day off (never realized the SAHM don’t get those; they need a union). I want to go out to lunch with a girlfriend (hahahahaha like that’s going to happen; maybe I’m a crappy friend as all my girlfriends seem to have deserted me). I want to have a massage. I want to come home to happy quietly playing kids, bathed and ready for bed. Nope, not going to happen. Daniel is working and that means I won’t see him until the kids are bathed and ready for bed (most likely in bed). The house needs cleaning up from yesterday’s Superbowl “party” (if my parents constitute party guests) and the kids will both be awake in less than an hour and needing to be entertained so I better “buck up and get to ‘er”.

One thing that has got me bummed is Sam’s music class. Well not the class per se but the skills of the other kids in the class. I hate going to this class with Sam because while all the other kids listen intently and sit quietly (not through the whole class but most of it) he’s like dealing with a Tiger Cub with a rash. He squirms and pulls and screeches if you don’t let him go. If you do let him go things just deteriorate and he becomes more than a little disruptive. He wasn’t too bad this morning. Not perfect but we didn’t have to leave the room. Still it’s a tiring experience for me (he has made soooo much progress though so it’s worth going). I haven’t been since before Christmas as Daniel’s work schedule has made it so that he could go with him (and as I mentioned I HATE going).

Today, I observed the other kids in the class. The gap in his language skills is becoming more and more obvious. He’s just not picking things up. Kids who were a little ahead of him are now light years and there is no denying there is a problem. My fear is though that it is more than just a problem with language (especially given the behavior issues we have). Is his inability to learn language an indication of other learning problems. I think he was the only kid in the class today that didn’t know (or care?) what sounds different animals make. My cousin’s son, 4 months younger than Sam, just parrots them off. His grandmother, my aunt (who I can’t stand), keeps bragging about his skills and commenting in a snide way about why we aren’t concerned about Sam’s “lack of progress.” Well, I’ve pretty much been dismissing it as something we haven’t worked a lot on. Today really brought the point home how far behind he is. :(
I’m also REALLY tired of the screaming/crying/whining. If things aren’t going EXACTLY the way he wants them to he dissolves into tears. If he has trouble getting a toy to work the way he wants it and you won’t do it for him; if Kamryn has a toy he wants; if you don’t get him out of the car fast enough etc. etc. and lo an behold if you put him “in time out.” You can’t wait to let him stop screaming (literally screaming) because well he’d be in his pack and play for the rest of his natural life. He will cry until he throws up and will not calm himself down or quiet down or even pause. How can you ignore a tantrum if it NEVER stops. I thank God he sleeps well because this is one child who could never cry himself to sleep. Sigh, I’m tired.

On a good note, Kamryn passed her first level of swimming lessons easily on her first try this weekend. I was proud of her. She isn’t the best listener in swim class and on Saturday she was extra good. It was an easy Saturday for all of us. Normally, she has gymnastics first thing in the morning (having both activities on the same day was a 3-week overlap of classes that couldn’t be helped). Anyway, she goes to gymnastics for 8:30. Daniel picks us up and I drive him to work for 9:30. Then we come home and the kids get snacks. Then I drive Sam to my parents so that I can take Kamryn to her swimming lesson at noon. Then Kamryn and I grab lunch and then back to get Sam and home so everyone can have naps. I hate it. This Saturday, for the first time since before Christmas, Daniel wasn’t working AND gymnastics was on an off week. So we hung out until 11:00 or so when Kamryn and I left to run some errands and go to her swim class. I’m sure her extra attentiveness was due to not being all tired out already. After class we had a Mom and Daughter lunch and then did the grocery shopping. She was a wonderful little companion and we had a good time.

Wednesday we go for our “interview” at the school we are trying to get her in to. I don’t know if I mentioned it here (I don’t think so) but we got a registration package in the mail a few weeks ago. The session we are attending is described in the package as a registration session. I THINK we are “in” but I’m quite confused so I could be wrong. I’m sure things will get clarified on Wednesday. I’m anxious to know.

I’m wracking my mind here to mention something positive about Sam right now and sadly can’t think of anything. :( There are things; just not easily describable I guess. He is a lovable little boy. He has a smile that could melt icebergs and a wicked sense of humour. He’s also really smart. He’s recently become really attached to a stuffed big bird that he got for Christmas. It’s really adorable to watch. He loves to dance and it cracks me up to watch him “get down.” He just takes a lot of patience.