Thief

Sam has been stealing food. Candy to be exact. It's happened a handful of times over the last year and a half or so. He's been punished each time - loss of privileges, restitution etc. In the past month it's happened THREE times. I'm worried. Especially given the medication he is on is supposed to be helping with impulse control. Instead it seems we're dealing with exactly the opposite (first time he wasn't on the medication yet). Sigh.

First incident: I bought some chocolate covered macadamia nuts while I was in Hawaii. They were on a shelf in my bedroom and I'd been taking a few here and there. Then I come into my room one night and the bag is one the floor, nearly empty. Honestly it seemed strange to me but I just thought I'd eaten more than I had thought. Daniel discovered it was Sam. He was punished although I can't even remember what - no desert for the week of something like that.

Second incident, was on 21 Feb; it was a holiday so we were home for the day. At around 10 am I called the kids up from the basement so that I could do homework with them. All of a sudden Sam decides he NEEDS to go to the bathroom right then. I knew something was up and when I asked him to turn around I could see he was desperately trying to swallow what was in his mouth. He had gone into our basement panty and ate three bags of Halloween sized Doritos. I took all the toys out of his room (I left his books). He wasn't allowed out in the morning on his own. He wasn't allowed in the basement alone. He was supposed to spend his afternoons in his room after school everyday (didn't really happen). He had to write lines about being too smart to be a thief (or something inspiring like that; writing lines is a really effective punishment with him since he hates it so). His punishment ended Sunday.

Saturday Kamryn attended a birthday party. I let her keep her loot bag in her room. Tonight she comes to us to tell us someone ate all her candy. Sigh. I could not have been angrier. I woke a sleeping Sam and yelled. There was a lot of yelling. Then I sent him to get a garbage bag and completely empty his room of toys (this time I even took his books. He has NOTHING. Then we/I broke open his piggy bank (it wasn't the type your break open but I couldn't get the stopper out and I was furious so I smashed it open with a hammer - it was a free piggy bank that his kind-hearted sister got him when she went to the bank to open her first bank account. They gave her one and she asked for one for her brother who treats her so badly. The yelling... the taking of toys... no effect at all on Sam but the smashing of the piggy bank; that woke him up completely. The only time he cried was when I made him take his money - all of it and give it to Kamryn as restitution for the candy he stole.)

He can't be hungry. He eats well and when he asks for a snack I rarely say no. Also he's only binging on candy. He's a kid who likes candy ... fine. He's a kid who gets candy... LOTS. I'm not big on restricting treats. He's spoilt if anything else. I'm so disappointed in him. I'm devestated to know I can't trust my own son. He knows it's wrong. He's not stupid. I'm worried. If he's stealing now; this frequently, boldly, and with no consideration of the consequences what is going to happen to him as he gets older? Is he doing this at school too? Seems unbelievable that he would only do it at home. All the hope of the last few weeks is gone. His comportment is better but he's stealing from us?

Anyway, if he's hungry we'll deal with that. I've already increased his school lunches because his teacher told us last week that he complains he's hungry in the afternoons (its more he's not eating what's in his lunch than he didn't have any options but I'm trying here. He regularly comes home with leftovers.) I've left instruction with Daniel that when he gets home from school before he does anything he's to eat one egg (to boast his protein levels). Dinner has always been eat until you're full and I don't intend to change that.

Since he can't be trusted; he can't be alone (i.e. without adult supervision). No more going downstairs and helping himself to what he wants for breakfast (choice of cereal + Yogurt). This morning he sat at the top of the stairs while I got ready for work and then we went down together and I served him cereal (my choice not his) and selected a yogurt for him. He ate while I watched and then he got into his winter stuff and sat on the stairs while I snowblowed the driveway (his sister was inside playing lego). Kamryn walked to the bus stop and he stayed with me. Then I drove him to the stop (I needed the car with me so I could leave immediately for work) and he sat in the car with me until the bus arrived and I let him leave and get on the bus.

The reason we cleared his room of toys is that it's the only place he will be allowed to be alone and with nothing in his room but clothes I know what he's doing when he's in there.

Going to be a lot of together time.

I just don't know...