Judgement

Sam has been on methylphenidate for two weeks now. The change in him is complete. He is a different boy. One I don’t quite recognize but in an entirely good way. He is so very proud of himself and for once its true confidence and not bravado (bravado is so terribly annoying – a desperate need to be told constantly how wonderful you are weighs on those around you). This new confidence he has in himself can’t help but make you smile. His teacher is smiling. He has not gotten in trouble at school once since starting the medication. He’s never had two weeks (heck he’s never had a week like this) in his entire school career. It’s not just the meds; there is an entire platoon of people working to help him out. He has a behavioural modification program in place at school (as part of an IEP). He has a 5th grade student shadow him during one of the recesses (to model appropriate play) – I want to hug this child for being so generous with her time (what 11 year old girl wants a 6 year old boy trailing after them?) He meets with a therapist once a week.

The change in him is so remarkable that I want to get a hold of his (missing!) birthfamily and share what we’ve learned to maybe help out his half sister (she’s only 3 but I’d heard they were having difficulties with her similar to what we’ve dealt with in Sam). I know they can’t afford the testing we put Sam through (the testing is available publically but the waiting lists are extremely – like two years – long); I worry about the future for this little girl.

I also wonder about other disadvantaged children. I think/hope that we’ve saved Sam further “damage” (to his abilities; reputation; self-esteem; potential) by giving him the care he’s getting now. I wonder what type of kid he would have been had we waited until he was 8 (the age he would have been had we pursued testing through the school system). I wonder what we all would have endured. I see how important treatment is.

I watched Sam’s medication wear off today (he gets a dose at 8 in the morning and another at noon; we’ve known for days now that after about 3 hours the medication is no longer effective so we’re switching to a longer acting formula next week). I picked him up at school to take him to the doctor at around 10 am. Between the time I picked him up and the time we saw the doctor 1 hour passed. It was like watching a stop motion film. He wasn’t doing anything bad but he went from a normal boy to this hyper kinetic individual. There was nothing subtle or normal about his affect. It was precisely like he’d been given some sort of drug to bring about the change although I knew it was the other way round. It was eye-opening. There were two older women in the waiting room when we were leaving (Sam was literally bouncing off the walls), they were very polite when they commented about his level of energy (think of a wind-up toy gone mad; manic conversation that hoped without pause from one unrelated topic to the next).

I’m very aware that a great many people don’t believe in ADHD. Don’t believe in medicating children. I agree that children are misdiagnosed. I’m certain that children are over-medicated. I wonder at the ease some doctors hand out prescriptions for these very powerful drugs. For Sam we went through 6 hours of psychological testing (over 3 days) I provided daily reports from his teachers going back three years. I turned over all his report cards. There weren’t many stones left undisturbed. We’ve got a good picture of this little boy. By contrast, there is a mother on a BB I frequent. She has posted numerous times about difficulties with her son. She has also posted numerous times about difficulties getting anyone in the medical profession to take her claims seriously. At around the same time we started Sam on medication this woman posted that she had finally found a doctor to “take her seriously.” That this doctor listened to her description of what she was dealing with, agreed her son had ADHD and prescribed a medication. I was a little stunned – we had 4 separate appointments with a psychologist lasting over 2 hours each (Sam was put through a battery of cognitive testing), his teacher and filled out behavioural analysis tests; we had a separate appointment with our family physician. This woman talked a doctor into prescribing medication. Nevertheless, she was as relieved as I was to be helping her son. Ummmm…. The medication was a disaster – her next post. He was hyper and agitated and mean. Ummm… those are the side-effects to taking a stimulant drug when you don’t have ADHD. I truly suspect her son doesn’t have ADHD. She is straining to see improvement in his behaviour (if she only knew how remarkable it can be). She thinks maybe its just the wrong drug for him (and maybe it is!). I can’t say anything. I don’t want to judge but I’m judging; I can’t help it.

I know that people will meet a medicated Sam and question our motives in medicating him. People who don’t understand that ADHD meds don’t work in children without ADHD. People who don’t see how much better his life is. People who’ve met an unmedicated Sam and after spending a very brief amount of time with him pronounce him spirited and normal. They will judge. Let them.