Well... SUCKS!

That's what Kamryn would say.

Last night we had breaded Tilapia for dinner. I admit I'm very frustrated by Sam's comments about seafood. We went out to dinner with his biological grandmother the other day and she made a (immature!) comment about not like the smell of seafood. Actually her boyfriend apologized for ordering seafood and she explained the reason for his apology. Sam - his ears wide open - decided that he too didn't like the smell of seafood and, in the way only a six-year-old can, keeps going on about it. It's annoying especially because I'm pretty certain he has no idea what it smells like.

Anyway, I threw an adult tantrum on Saturday and decreed that we would start have seafood for dinner once a week whether they liked it or not.

Since my visit with the alergist in April I have been equally excited at terrified about the prospect of eating fish. I'm completely ignorant. I don't know whether I like fish (I think probably not). I don't know how to prepare it. I don't know how to eat it (de-boning etc.) I've been rolling it around in my head for the last month. I had one small bite at the beginning of May and that's been it.

I decided that we would start with breaded Tiliapia. I'd heard it was a mild fish and pretty non-offensive and the bonus was I didn't have to prepare it. So we got a bag of frozen filets and some tartar sauce and I prepared to be initiated.

It didn't go well. Daniel doesn't like Tiliapia (too mild/tasteless) and he hates "fish sticks" but he acquieced as part of the experiment. The kids predictably hated it and had to be cajoled/ordered/forced to eat it. Me? I had three (maybe four) bites before I started to feel wierd. Actually after the first bite I started to feel wierd but I worked very hard to convince myself I was imagining things. Unfortunately I was not. I stopped eating but definitely not in time.

I immediately rustled up my Epi-pen (which I discovered expired in 2008) and took the maximum dosage of Benedryl. The funny feeling (tightness in my throat and slight swelling of my lower lip) subsided but my stomach was decidedly unhappy. I had a bowl of cereal and a glass of pepsi - mistake number 2 and 3.

After "dinner" I sat on the couch reading to Kamryn until it became apparent that I needed to stop and return my dinner to the earth from which it came - twice. Lordy did my stomach feel awful and no one told it that it was supposed to feel better after I'd been sick. But now I have no idea how much benedryl actually got into my system. Three hours had passed since I took the dosage. The inside of my ears (seriously) were itching like crazy (although I was working very hard once more to convince myself it was my imagination - like really who gets hives in their ear canals?). Hives started to appear on the oddest and difficult to scratch places - normal places too! I decided that it was okay to OD on the Benedryl as I had probably lost most of the dose I took earlier.

Mercifully, when you OD on benedryl, sleep comes quickly. When I woke this morning I was fine although my stomach still feels a little off.

I have NEVER gotten sick to my stomach before with an allergy. Then again I've never boldly eaten something that I knew I was allergic to. I also feel that getting sick and getting hives at the same time is unfair - there ought to be a biological rule making this impossible. I did contemplate asking Daniel to take me to the hospital at one point but (despite some tighness in my throat) my breathing was all right. Having been to the hospital under similar circumstances in the past I knew they couldn't do anything more for me that I wasn't already doing. Benedryl and wait it out. I can't imagine how bad things would have gotten if I didn't get sick. And I'm really relieved I didn't have to use the expired Epi-pen.

What a night! I've learned my lesson. No more seafood for me.

The good that came out of it? Since the doctor told me that I wasn't allergic to seafood a few months back I've felt a little like a hypochondriac. How long haven't I been allergic? How many times have I told people that I couldn't eat seafood when I had no basis in fact? Did I ever really have an allergy or was it all in my mind - I REMEMBER the reactions from my childhood but maybe they were exagerated. I feel a little vindicated now. But I could have done without that vindication.