More musing about my allergies

This morning Kamryn came into my bathroom carrying a stuffed bat. She informed me that Cédric (the bat) is allergic to eggs and peanuts and that he has an Epi pen like mine only it's black (like him). Right.

I'm guessing my little incident on Sunday night has affected more than just me.

I did get out my Epi pen on Sunday night and admit to being a little scared that I might really need it. That's never happened before (neither needing it or being scared during an allergic response). It's changed my whole outlook on my allergies. I've really never worried about them much. I'm allergic to A LOT of things and in many ways this has defined me but they haven't been anything more than a nuissance. My mother and my husband well they get all excited but me, well I've been entirely to casual about things.

I only have an Epi pen because a Respirologist I was sent to see once begged me (most literally) to carry one. I've always seen them as a grand waste of money (they are pricey). The reason mine was expired is the Respirologist told me that if I was concerned with cost that letting them be a little expired (no more than 6 months) was fine; he probably would have frowned on two years. I have two Epi pens. On Sunday night I only knew where one was: in the corner of my bedroom, in the satchel I used to carry to work but haven't used in over 6 months, under an extra comforter, a duvet and a pile of pillows that I really need to store away properly. To my credit I was surprised that it was as expired as it was.

I've taken getting a new one as a priority but I'm still waiting on my doctor's office and the pharmacy to get their act together. I'm now uncomfortable not having one.

I'm also a little sad. I was excited at the possibilities opened to me with the false revellation that I had outgrown this allergy. I'm angry with the allergist. I had accepted my limitations. I didn't particularly miss this part of my culinary life and then my world was opened. The restaurants that I was going to visit (I REALLY wanted to try fish and chips - okay not exciting but they look so good). The recipies I was going to try. The freedom that I didn't know I didn't have. Now I miss it.

I miss it and my daughter's stuffed bat has an Epi pen. What did I say the other day? Sucks!