I've survived the hardest part of Halloween

I managed to make two halloween costumes this year - without having a clue what I was doing. Without being able to sew well enough to save my life. And without any help. The kids are happy with my efforts - which is what was really worrying me (I was so worried about disappointing them). Kamryn's face in the picture says it all (we have SUCH a hard time getting her to smile naturally in pictures and the grin for this picture made the days and days I spent working on this costume so worthwhile).




They're a toothbrush and a bottle of Listerine: the Gingivitis Superheroes. And yes it was all their idea. Kamryn's costume wasn't quite done in this photo - I still had to hem it. It's done now and it survived her piano lesson this morning so I'm relatively confident it will hold out tonight (another fear; the brush part was a bit of a challenge).

Not giving in to the panic.

Today I'm being a good citizen. I'm being reasonable. I'm not panicking (okay I'm panicking a little but telling myself that I'm an idiot at the same time).

I took the morning off work for some health things I needed to take care of. I have an appointment for an ultrasound at 11 am and figured I could get a number of other things done as well. My plan - pop into the pharmacy and pick up a vaccine (not H1N1) that I need. Slip up to my doctor's office - have the nurse administer the vaccine. Drive down the road to the local H1N1 vaccine clinic and get a ticket to bring the kids back later today for their vaccines and then go to my ultrasound.

Playing around in my head the whole time though was the words of the city's public health officer - "we will not turn school age children away from the vaccine clinics BUT we prevail upon the public to let high risk people get their vaccines first." Smart man. People who aren't high risk are most certainly getting vaccinated this week - there has been a mass outbreak of asthma all of a sudden. I feel a little cheated by those folks but I decided this morning not to join them.

My children aren't high risk. Just because I'm panicking doesn't mean we need to/should queue jump. It's hard though. Last night they announced that they will run out of vaccine next week. They've assured us that more is coming but that they had to slow down production in order to produce the non-adjuvanted version of the vaccine (which is good for me because I discovered I'm allergic to the adjuvant added to the standard vaccine (to boost its strength). Still - its nerve wracking to know they are going to run out and just trust that more will be coming. Then there was the trip to my doctor's for the shot I needed this morning. There is a big red sign on the door that reads "stop if you have flu-like symptoms put on a mask immediately on entering" or something to that effect. I opened the door. There was a little girl in a mask sitting RIGHT next to the door. The nurse was on the phone obviously talking down a freaked out parent with a child in the grips of H1N1 (any flu here is considered H1N1 because seasonal flu hasn't hit yet). I took a seat as far away from the girl with the mask as possible. Noticed another sign telling patients that they are no longer doing blood tests in the office because of the high numbers of people with flu-like symptoms (I don't quite understand that but whatever). I casually asked the nurse if they were being overwhelmed and she didn't hesitate in telling me yes - wonderful.

Still, we will wait - none to patiently - until the offer the vaccine to the general public before braving the excessively long lines.

I guess THIS is the winter of my discontent.

H1N1 - Completely Stressed Out

There is a good article in the Globe and Mail this morning about not panicking. It’s timely because I am indeed doing a piss poor job of holding panic at bay. Whenever I think of H1N1 my heart flutters a little, my stomach does an uncomfortable flip-flop, and I blink back the start of tears. I’m scared and I’m trying really hard not to be.

Two children died this week. Two previously healthy children. A ten-year old girl and a thirteen-year old boy. The thirteen year old boy complained of a sore throat on Saturday morning and was dead by Monday afternoon. His parents sought medical attention and were prescribed Tylenol and rest. On Monday he collapsed after a bath. He did not recover. That is not only sad – heartbreakingly sad – but freaks a person out. I look at my essentially healthy kids and I think of Evan’s parents – who set him off to play hockey on Saturday morning oblivious as to what was to come.

Vaccination clinics have begun here. There is enough vaccine, unlike in the US, but the next 7 – 14 days are supposed to be for high-risk patients only. As it is they only have the capacity to vaccinate a certain number of people (4,200 on Monday, 5,300 yesterday) so the line-ups are LONG (1 1/2 - 4 hours) and they are turning people away well before the clinics themselves close. In parts of Eastern Ontario all children under 18 have been determined to be high-risk. Not so here, as (and I guess this is good news) the flu hasn’t hit with the same intensity (although CHEO is reporting a 49 per cent increase in patients over the past week and a 100 percent jump on Monday). I don’t know if I can wait 7 – 14 days (it takes another 7 – 14 days for the vaccine to take effect). Can I live like this for another month? The stress may kill me.

Twenty per cent of schools are reporting higher than average absences (not necessarily attributable to H1N1). I don’t know if that includes my child’s school. I would feel much better if there was a list out there. Or maybe I wouldn’t. They are talking about keeping healthy children away from extra-curricular activities – the boy who died had been playing in a hockey tournament when he fell ill. They are questioning whether children should go trick-or-treating.

We are continuing with our routine. We are changing nothing. But inside – where no one can see – I’m panicking.

The kids have an odd obsession.

The children are obsessed with teenagers. I don’t get it. They talk about teenagers in language and in tones normally reserved for celebrities of some sort. We’ll be driving along and — its like we’re on a safari — one of them will spot a teenager and squeal in delight while pointing it out to the other. They will then describe the teenager in minute detail including whatever activity they may be engaged in.

I took them on a bus ride with me the other day and it was really embarrassing as they counted down the MANY teenagers on the bus. They were enthralled (and LOUD!).

To counter Daniel and I have started pointing out senior citizens. We’re not feeling the rush though.

I think my kids need some sort of therapy.

Justifying my worth

I'm working on a cover letter for a job competition here at work. My confidence level is not high. I applied for the same competition last spring and "screened out" for not meeting the criteria even though I felt I clearly did.

I was mad - oh so mad. Ready to quit mad. Nothing like being told you don't qualify to apply for the job you've been doing for over a year.

These competition are obstensibly open to all (i.e. all Government employees) but the qualifications you need to possess really makes them internal (to about 20 of the 150 civilian employees in my Group). We're a small group. I knew the director who screened me out - very well. I went to see him. I ended up crying in his office. Frustrated tears but tears nonetheless. Wonderful.

That competition went nowhere. I don't know what happened (I'm speculating there were a lot of people like me - but without the tears and the board recognized they had done SOMETHING wrong). So now there is this new competition. Applications are due Thursday. It's a big deal. It wouldn't necessarily mean a job change for me (I've been in an acting role for well over a year now) or even more challenging responsibilities but would mean I would be getting paid for the work I'm doing which would be nice. It would be some recognition of my experience and worth. It's a pretty senior position though and they aren't just going to give it to me because I'm such a nice person.

My supposed error last time was not adequately describing my experience. Oddly the new poster advertising the competition (as opposed to the last one) has a paragraph written in capital letters telling applicants to demonstrate that they meet the criteria for their job in the cover letter which is not to exceed 3 pages. My resumé is only 2 1/2 pages in length. The cover letter is longer which to me is a little bizarre. I haven't worked on my resumé at all but I will have to make sure it matches this insane letter. It's a terribly written letter but it does describe in detail how I meet the criteria.

I'm scared to submit it because I just don't have the heart to go through the mess that was last time all over again.

Hate this.

PS. We're bleeding staff because it is so hard to get promoted within our organization. Isn't that ridiculous and how come I'm still here?

All the boring news that's fit to print

I. Wow do I get a lot of work done at work. I'm sure you're saying isn't that the point ... Thing is it isn't the work I'm getting paid to do. It's a the minutiae family stuff that needs doing. I was away sick last week (just a cold and an unfortunate and embarrassing minor back injury) but boy was I behind. I've been here an hour and a half and I'm just now thinking about blogging (oh I kill myself I'm so funny). I'm just about to turn to "real" work.

Let's see, I've rescheduled the kids eye appointments because I accidentally double booked them on a day Kamryn has a skating development class.

- I've researched quotes for uniforms for the concert band I play with.

- I've searched all over town (via phone) for a tray of water bottles with long spouts (all the sports stores are sold out because everyone wants this type of water bottle - doesn't touch the drinker's mouth - because of H1N1).

- I've ordered name tapes for Sam's Hockey jersey.

- I've arranged to pick up a manual that I need for hockey (for me not the kids) from the Training Coordinator who lives a few blocks from our house.

Okay not all that much or all that exciting - but it took a whack of time.

II. Okay please tell me how both my kids hockey coaches can have the same name - worse their last names both begin "Be..." I'm not with it enough to keep the two teams separate in my head at the best of times and now every time I get an email from the coaches I have no idea what child they are talking about.

III. The team "Kamryn skated with" (Daniel's descriptive phrase) beat the beejeebers out of the other team on Saturday: final score 8 - 3. Kamryn didn't contribute much. Basically skated around on the ice looking dazed (in a very cute way) most of the time. Once she touched the puck... briefly. She had fun though.

I - well I had a great time as the trainer. I stood in the corner of the bench and helped open the door when the kids needed to change lines. I yelled at the referee to postpone play (and was either not heard or ignored) because our goalie had a problem with his pads. And I... ummm... well that was about it.

Oh I learned that in minor hockey they only play three periods - actually I learned that in all hockey they only play three periods (this was when I expressed my surprise to Daniel on the "shortened" game). Yes sports fans the official trainer of the Cumberland Novice Thunder didn't know how many periods were in a hockey game. Goes to show you. :) I did warn them that I hated hockey and knew nothing about it. Okay I didn't mention the hatred part.

Also, on Saturday afternoon I "had to" go out and buy a black ski jacket because the rest of the coaching staff all wear black (team colours are black, gold and white) on the bench and I felt a little obvious in my bright red jacket. During the next game I will blend and that's really more important than knowing how many periods there are isn't it?

IV. The kids want to be a toothbrush and a bottle of Listerine for Halloween. I had feared it would be a grand disaster. I did a mock-up of the toothbrush yesterday and although they will look nothing like the people in the link I posted - it will be all right for a 7 and 5 year old whose non-sewing mother made their costumes. Pray for me. Nothing like obsessing over disappointing your kids.

Okay that's all folks.

A woman's work.

Friday I took the day off. We've had a very busy fall and there has been literally no downtime at work so, ostensibly, you might think I had a nice relaxing and enjoyable day off. You'd be wrong.

It was the kind of day that made me feel capable with a capital C. A good day.

Friday was my father's 75th birthday. I volunteered to host a part for him and his 60 closest friends at my house for Saturday. I took Friday off to prepare. Wow what a day. By 8:30 am it was apparent to me that it was going to be a helluva day so I thought I'd keep a running tally of what I actually did all day. That was kind of fun and allowed me 30 seconds rest ever so often. You wanna see my list? If you don't you're gonna have to stop reading. Sorry.

So...

BTW ever so often I remembered to write down the time but its very haphazard. Sometimes I wrote of what I was about to do rather than had just done and while it got done kind of in the order listed I wasn't perfect so some things are slightly out of order. Still an awesome list (yes, I'm bragging); if rather boring (I didn't do anything amazing; I just did A LOT).

- 8:00 am Up, shower, fight with child#1 re: school attire (how is it that she wears a school uniform and some mornings it is STILL a struggle?)
- made chili for dinner (discovered we had no chili powder)
8:30 Daniel generously made me coffee
- take laundry out of washer and put in dryer
- run the dishwasher
- fold laundry (not the new laundry)
- organize DH's office
- organize kid's toy closet (toy closet and the office had me muttering under my breath about others messes but easier to clean it myself than supervise)
- clean playroom
- made up bed in spare room
10:30 am breakfast! (toast and peanut butter)
- "convinced" Daniel to fix the hinge on the kitchen cupboard that I have been asking him to do for weeks (did this by going into his workshop and getting out a drill to do it myself; I have no idea how to use said drill and Daniel knows this; not passive agressive at all, really *grin*)
- open up dinning room table
- cleaned out walk-in closet in front hallway
12:00 field trip!
- popped into police station for a criminal records check (for hockey)
- dropped Daniel at the mall (he was on the way to school and I saved him a bus ride)
- stop in at Costco to renew membership and order 2 cakes for Saturday.
- Stop at Hallmark for by a birthday card for Dad
- stop at Bulk Barn for stuffing supplies
- stop at Farm Boy for stuffing supplies
- stop at Party Supply Store for decorations and to order balloons
2:30 lunch - Mickey D's
- home notice that the my Parents have visited and dumped off a bunch of supplies in my kitchen
- haul 6 cases of pop to the basement fridge
- finish arranging Dining Room
- sweep up the dead leaves that have fallen off my living room plants
- wash all the towels in the house
= make stuffing for two turkey's
4:30 Pee! Seriously
- toss towels in dryer
- assuming I'm done with laundry convert laundry room which is just off the kitchen into a butler's pantry (this involves placing a board and plastic tablecloth over the washer and dryer so that I can then dump all sorts of stuff on top of them)_
- zip out to pick up the kids from the bas stop (15 minute drive as the bas drops them off at my parent's house)
- gas up car on return journey
- make corn bread to go with chili (oh I got chili powder at Bulk Barn and the chili is now powdered)
- strip sheets off all the beds (doh! laundry!)
- undo butler's pantry
- wash sheets
- dinner with the kids
- unload dishwasher
- fold laundry
- makes kids' beds
- clean 3 bathrooms; by bathroom #2 I'm dragging
- pack away leftovers from dinner
- wash dishes
- sweep kitchen floor
- shake out mats
- 9:00 pm hang garland and happy birthday sign in playroom turned party room
- sweep dining room and front hallway
- locate kids' hockey equipment to prepare for hockey practice at 7:00 Saturday morning
9:55 pm diet coke!
- made bed with Daniel - he did most of the work at this point because I was fried.

Novice C!

Kamryn is officially a Novice C hockey player.

Never thought that would happen.

I'm pretty certain she is the only girl on the team (we only ever came across one other girl during tryouts; although we heard rumors of two others). We'll find out when the team gets together for the first time on Saturday. We were unsure of whether she would be able to play Novice given her level of experience (nil while many of her teammates will have been playing for 2 to 4 years!) so even though C is the most junior level in Novice it’s a coup for her. And she belongs there; there is no doubt whatsoever about her ability. Novice is for kids born in 2001/2002 so she's playing with/competing against kids who in some cases will be 9 in January!

Her two little friends (both boys) from school were red-shirted (not unusual and what we thought Kamryn might be headed for) and are playing with the Initiation Program (normally for 5/6 year olds) because they just couldn't skate well enough to play Novice. So kudos to Kamryn for her hard work and enthusiasm. For being able to skate forwards and backwards in full hockey gear. For being able to stop without completely losing control and ending up on her knees. For being able to take a hit (yes she took a hard one; it was an accident) and shake it off. For being able to stay on her feet and even occasionally take a swipe at the puck. Kudos for being a girl in a sport that is still (big surprise to me) COMPLETELY dominated by boys. Don't let all that women's Olympic hockey team stuff fool you (it fooled me); this isn't soccer where girl's match boys pretty evenly in participation.

I did discover - too late - that there is a girl's association BUT in order to have enough girls to fill out the teams it covers three times the area covered by the boy's association. It is more expensive and would have meant driving all over the world for practices and games. By playing with the boys association Kamryn's practices will be just down the road from our house and her games (as a house league player) shouldn't be too much of a haul. Better still she will be a better hockey player. Next year we will ask her if she wants to switch and play with the girls but I don't think she will mind playing with the boys at all (so far she doesn't). She really isn't that kind of a girl - never has been.

Last weekend we went out and got her pink laces for her hockey skates. It makes it easier to tell which player she is -- since none of the boys have pink laces -- and it makes her happy. She was quite disappointed that no one on her team asked her "if she was a girl or just a boy who liked pink." Just writing that makes my heart hurt a little because she's not here so I can't give her a little proud-mommy hug.

Also, last weekend I took the Trainer Level I class and passed (a blind, deaf monkey with a limp and a semi-functional left hand could have passed which is a little scary. There was so little first aid training it was stunning; they leave that to the Level II class I guess.) so I'm a "qualified" trainer. I have a little yellow cardboard card that I filled out myself to prove it. Oh and I have a little badge too... somewhere. I volunteered to be the back-up trainer for Sam's team because I didn't know what his schedule would be like and Kamryn has piano on Saturday mornings (just to make things interesting) which I'm committed to attending with her. I think I've volunteered to be the primary trainer for Kamryn's team (although I told them I would be most comfortable sharing the job with someone with more (read: any) hockey experience). Kamryn liked the idea of another "girl" on the bench with her. We'll see how this all plays out - no pun intended.

This really has taken over our lives - or at least our weekends. Scary considering Sam isn't even technically a "player;" he's just in the Initiation program. This Saturday, for instance, Kamryn has practice at 7:30 am at a rink not far from our house. She'll come off the ice at 8:20. Sam has a practice starting at 9:00 am at a rink not far from our house but in the opposite direction from the first rink. Luckily there are a few Tim Horton's in between. Because this weekend is Thanksgiving, there is mercifully no game on Sunday but games will start next weekend. We also, as I mentioned, have piano lessons on Saturday mornings AND soccer (for Sam) Saturday afternoons. We didn't plan it this way, this is just the bizarre way things panned out. It’s a lot of "family time" though which is definitely nice.

Kamryn is most excited about getting a team sweater. Figures. lol