Well the school hasn't called me yet so that must be a good sign.

I’m supposed to be writing a speech. Kind of a good speech to. As part of my previous job, I headed “working end” of a negotiating team (by that I mean I had a BIG boss – a General actually – but he didn’t really do any negotiating, I did everything and then told him what had transpired) for a treaty between Britain and Canada. It was perhaps one of the most challenging tasks I have had in my career. I had some great advisors and some “not so great” advisors. The “not so great” advisors gave me and the rest of the team a huge headache. Things got REALLY rough. The British were being very reasonable; it was my own team I couldn’t control. Nothing like conducting internal and external negotiations at the same time. I got things to a 98% finished point and then left all the infighting on my own team because we adopted Sam and I got to take leave for almost a year. I wasn’t upset to leave it because at that point it was just annoying, I did want to find out what happened though. Today I’m supposed to be writing the speech our Minister will give when he signs the treaty in a couple of weeks. Too cool. I feel like a pair of bookends.

I’m sitting here not thinking about the speech much at all.

Today was Sam’s first day of summer camp — in reality his first day of pre-school. I’ve worried about it since last week. Worried he wasn’t at all ready and that this was all a huge mistake. Tied my stomach in complete knots.

He is going three days a week from 9 - 11 30. I figured if I sent him to camp this summer he could start with his big sis. She could help him adjust to the new place and people then in the fall when he has to go by himself it will be easier on him. They only take two 2-year olds a class; all the other kids must be 2 1/2 or older. So he is the youngest.
I'm honestly worried that I will get a call in a week or two asking to refund my money because they can't handle him - how's that for awful.
As you all know the poor kid tantrums often, regularly and for LONG periods of time (hour long screaming tantrums are the norm). His language skills although developing aren't where they should be so oftentimes we have no idea what he is saying which is a real source of frustration for him. He uses real words you just have to guess what they are because his articulation is so off. He is incapable of sharing. When he doesn't get what he wants he just hauls back and smacks whoever the "offender" may be (oddly though if the child is smaller/younger than him he will allow himself to get beaten up). He doesn't really understand schedules (i.e. if he is doing something he likes he doesn't understand why he should have to stop and do something else). He is convinced that if he screams long and loud enough he will get whatever he wants; not working, he can scream louder. He is EXTREMELY persistent.
We NEED him to go to pre-school in September - partially for his language skills and partially as a child care fix (he will only go two mornings a week but that fills a big hole).
I keep telling myself that he can't be the most difficult little boy they have ever dealt with (he's the most difficult little boy *I* have ever met though; loveable but a whole lot of work). It doesn’t help that friends and strangers alike don’t hesitate to stop and comment to me on what a handful he seems to be. I keep telling myself they are professionals and will be able to handle him. Still my stomach was COMPLETELY tied in knots.
This morning went well though – the pre pre-school part. Only one short tantrum when I wanted him to sit on the potty and he panicking that he was missing some once in a lifetime moment somewhere else refused to sit. Potty training is NOT going to go well. Lol He’s always positive that when I put him on the potty that that is the moment when a marching band throwing candy and giving away free toys MUST be marching through the living room. Anyway back to this morning.
I had an icky “ovulation” night. Much pain, no sleep. So the decision to go into work a little late was an easy one to make. I would have called in sick outright but I didn’t work most of last week because of child care problems and my boss was kind enough to comp me the time. Kamryn got herself up and dressed and after only a modicum of protest “allowed” me to comb her hair by which time Sam was awake and raring to go. Daniel took care of him. Both kids were fed and Sam pottied (eventually!) and dressed before 8:30. Downstairs to get ready to go and both kids are too excited over their backpacks. Geez, if I got this excited over my briefcase every morning I would NEVER make my bus. Sam is using a “new” (he’s had it for awhile I just never took it out for him before) “Thomas” backpack. He gets so excited over anything Thomas that as a casual observer you might mistake him as having a seizure. The other challenge was to keep him from ripping out his snack and eating it right there. I got both kids sport sippy cups last night because Sam is completely incapable of drinking out of a cup – he just wears whatever he is drinking because he has no patience to sip slowly. Both of them are very excited over their new sippy cups. It’s the highlight of preschool for them.
Got some pictures taken – huge challenge because I gave Sam a sticker for going potty and that was all he could focus on at the moment, that and the stupid backpack. We actually left for school with a reasonable cushion. Halfway there we pulled even with the last express bus downtown from our place and decided to bail on Daniel and grab it rather than take the city bus which is adequate but “icky” (full of all of God’s creations not all of whom use deodorant). So Daniel took the kids in on his own.
I called to nag him the moment I got to the office and he reported that drop off went fine. Sam took off the moment Daniel put him down inside the school – off to play happily in the sand box with Bruce, one of Kamryn’s friends. Poor Kamryn was a little lost as Jordan is away on vacation so she was best-friendless. I’m sure she adjusted just fine though; she’s a social little kid. Daniel warned the director about Sam’s “nature.” I hope he does well, doesn’t melt down or smack anyone. I hope he had a blast and I can’t wait to get the “pick-up” report from Daniel which should come in about a half-hour. School is just letting out now. Please don’t let them kick him out.

I’m feeling surprisingly emotional about his venture out into the world. I find I typically don’t get as nostalgic over Sam as I do over Kamryn. It might be because the experiences with him tend to be “BTDT” experiences or it might be his rough and tumble nature and the fact that he exhausts me so there isn’t much room for nostalgia. This morning though I felt just as teary as I felt when Kamryn embarked on her first day of preschool. Today was all about him and I really felt it. My baby is taking his first steps into the world on his own (albeit watched over by his sister). Lord, help the world. lol