Dismantling the Nursery

I didn’t think it would be so hard. I didn’t think it would be so soon (lol it's been 2 kids and 5 years I guess that's not all that soon).

I remember how much fun it was to put together. To plan and dream and imagine when all had seem so hopeless and pointless for sooooo very long.

The wallpaper design was taken right out of a picture from a book at the wallpaper store. It's a completely odd and kind of unbabylike design and that's why I liked it. I had never bought wallpaper before and was clueless about how much things cost. I was so excited to be decorating a nursery finally that I just ordered everything so it would look JUST like the picture and I don’t think I hid the shock very well when the clerk asked me for $700 to pay for it. At that point I felt I was a little too far in to back out. Lol It did look just wonderful to me though.



We started decorating in the midst of being considered for a baby that in the end was not to be ours. Still we knew we would eventually be parents.

I remember going in there and sitting in the glider rocker and imagining rocking a baby months before there was even an inkling that there really would be a baby. It was sunny and warm and gave me a happy feeling in my heart.

I remember the lone outfit that I had bought for future-baby hanging so lonely in the closet because I had this cockamamie idea that I would jinx myself by buying any more clothes.

I remember sitting there with Kamryn after her baptism feeding her as mayhem ruled in the rest of the house.

I remember sitting there and singing to her as an infant.

I remember how Sam used to fall asleep so easily in my arms after we first brought him home, sitting and rocking in that rocker. Such an active, strong and angry little guy, so easily calmed in that rocker.

I remember how mad I was at 16-month-old Kamryn (I think that’s how old she was) when she ripped that wallpaper border off the wall. She was so proud of herself and well its not as if I could punish her for it. Now it’s going to be me ripping off all that paper.

I still love the room.

Daniel comments that the seams now show on the wallpaper, and how the glue is yellowing the edges of the paper. He’s not as nostalgic as I and only sees what is no longer perfect. I don’t see those imperfections. I still think it is a gloriously beautiful room. It brings me peace. But, it’s not my room. This weekend we will start the transition from “baby dinos” to “dum-da-da-dum… Superman”.

Sam, who will be 3 in a couple of months, will love it. I’ll miss the pale purple wallpaper that DH argues is not at all masculine and is probably damaging our son psychologically for life lol. Who cares what I think? If I’m all that nostalgic I guess we have some wallpaper border left over, I can put it up in my own bedroom. Lol

Yup, the baby has left the building.