So I logged on tonight to erase my descent into melancholy of earlier today but I’ve decided to leave it. I hate reading about people feeling sorry for themselves for no good reason and figured I should erase it so that anyone reading this would continue their belief in me as the perfect woman and mother (lol). Then I decided to leave it. I’m not perfect and you guys know that so why pretend. I’m feeling much better – it got much worse before it got better though because of course Sam wanted nothing to do with his dinner and basically threw it at me – just what I needed. I was a mess but I’m very proud of myself for how I handled things. I took the screaming tantruming Sam upstairs and put him in his crib. I came downstairs and grabbed the phone (unfortunately before I had time to collect myself) and called my parents and asked them to come and stay with Sam for an hour while I took Kamryn to ballet.
They came, I took Kamryn to ballet and sat on the floor and chatted with Madison’s Mom who I think is becoming a friend (okay I’m not totally pathetic). She suggested that as they have just moved a couple of blocks away (they moved last week) that we make a real effort to get the girls together outside of school and other activities. I will invite them over very soon. Just have to take a look at our schedule a bit. 45 minutes sitting on the floor outside of a ballet class chatting and I feel SOOOOOO much better. Still a little weepy and sorry for myself but definitely not as awful as I was feeling.
I’m going to turn the TV on for the right now and let them watch a bit before bed (that was another change today we have had no TV time). I need them to watch a little TV each day; if that’s my failing as a parent so be it and long live Sesame Street!
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4 years ago
3 comments:
I am glad you are feeling a bit better. It is so hard being a mommy sometimes. I have NO idea how single parents do it either. When my sister's girls were 2 and 6 mos (twins), her husband left her. I have NO idea how she survived and I have a lot of guilt over not helping her more. Of course I was only 17 at the time so I will excuse it with "selfish teenager syndrome". LOL
I to, wish I had friends. the only friends I have are my computer friends. the one friend I do have is super super busy and I never see her. It's really hard.
The tv has been my savior on lots and lots of days. I figure whats better...letting my kids sit in front of the tv awhile while I get some peace or me becoming a screaming ninny that wants to lock her children in a closet? LOL
Hopefully today and tomorrow will be much better. Get some alone time this weekend!!
Girl, try and hang in there you are just going through what we all go through at some time or another. I will say that my daughter is much easier to deal with than my son, boys really put you through it. I have learned to ignore those meltdowns as long as he can't hurt himself, eventually he stops and comes around with a "sorry mommie" But remember you're allowed to have those feelings, this won't be the last.
From one not always perfect and rather socially inept mother to another, I feel your pain sister. Our situations are so similar. It IS so much easier to just stay at home.
I wish we lived closer!
Kell
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