Infertility Central

So I took Kamryn to gymnastics this morning. It seems that gymnastics it infertility central. Last week, one of the Moms (a Mom of triplets +1) and one of the Dads were talking about the fertility clinic we all used and how it had moved etc. etc. etc. Today the subject of infertility came up again – different Moms. Clueless Moms. They weren’t talking to me but I would have said something had I been sitting closer to them (I was at the other end of a long table and couldn’t have spoken to them discreetly). I could nevertheless hear their conversation clearly and had been chatting back and forth with them about other things. They were talking about an acquaintance of theirs who had endometriosis and “everytime they save enough money they just go for another insemination. What she should be thinking about is all the advantages to not having children. All the freedom you get. All the extra money you have. I love my daughter dearly but … blah blah blah blah blah”

Okay, part of me was appalled and part of me understood completely the absolutely clueless place they were coming from. Don’t they understand the exclusive club they are part of and how hard it is to get in for some of us. It’s a whole OTHER world that you aren’t allowed entry to without the late nights and early mornings; without the oodles of money spent on gymnastics lessons and hockey equipment; without the hours spent looking for batman masks for your son’s fourth birthday party or the silk blouse that you had to throw out because your daughter spilled grape juice down the back. Being the “special aunt” doesn’t cut it. It’s a whole world that you aren’t privy too and it’s a world you’ve been promised from the time you were in diapers. From the outside, it looks like paradise and nothing else measures up. Yes, there are people out their that would prefer to spend their money, time, lives… on other things but for infertile parent want-to-bes it’s torturous.

It is impossible to articulate how much my world has changed since I picked Kamryn up that first time. It’s a challenging life, parenting, but I can’t imagine doing anything else. I don’t know what my life would be like without Kamryn and Sam. I can’t imagine wanting to be here anymore, if forced to stay on the outside looking in.

Maybe it’s good that I was too far away to talk to these women. One, they probably would have thought I was a freak. Two, I don’t think I’m articulating things very well and sitting here in front of the computer I actually have time to think about what to say and I’m STILL having problems. Ah well. Even though or maybe because I know their attitudes are so common, I’m a little sad at how little the average fertile women understands.