Saturday, February 28, 2009

Lord Help Me

Sam's been crying all afternoon. I've tried to be sympathetic I really have but my patience is running thin.  It all started because I told him he could invite a friend over to play - said friend (likely the most popular kid in the class; his mother sent fridge magnets to school with his name and phone number on them the first day of school so ...) was unavailable.  His second choice couldn't make it either.  We didn't try for a third because we didn't find out about #2 until after the afternoon shadows grew long (we paused while inviting for his soccer practice - choice #2 is on his team).  

He's NEVER had anyone over to play before.  One because I detest play dates.  Yup my dirty little secret is out there.  I hate being responsible for other people's kids: whether they are having a good time, if they are hungry, if they are breaking my house etc.  Secondly, Sam on his own is a handful.  I admit to being particularly scared of what he would be like to take care of with another little boy.

BUT I felt the need to relent because "we" are having problems.  Little problems that are getting bigger and our doctor suggested we might try havng a friend over as a remedy to helping model appropriate play.  Well that didn't work.  I'm a little worried that Dominic has no real friends.  He's a bit of a bully although I believe its mostly unintentional - he can be a real charmer and a sweetheart.  But he's self-centered (ummm... of course he is he's 4!) and competitive and a poor loser and that translates into bully.  He's also desperate for friendship and failing miserably.

So the not having anyone over to play with him started his mood and it's just progressed from there.  It hasn't helped that Kamryn had a friend over (so much easier to have a 6 yr. old girl over). Everything makes him cry.  I think he may have unintentionally learned a hard lesson today. His behavior isn't the reason his friends didn't come over but he doesn't understand that (this is compounded by the message he's been given at school that if he keeps being so horrid none of the kids will want to play with him). So maybe something was achieved this afternoon after all. I've had it with the crying though.