Never relax too much

So we went out to dinner last night with friends at a very nice restaurant (read not a "family" restaurant). The kids both had camp earlier in the day (Kamryn - golf camp; Sam - science camp) so I had them take showers and put on some nicer clothes. I gave Kamryn three dresses to choose from. She picked a very cute red sun-dress:



I let her get dressed. It's about 4:30.

Sam was more than adorable. I dressed him in a little t-shirt and let him wear a dress shirt (opened) over it. He looks at me earnestly and says "I look handsome." Very cute. I agreed with him.

So family looking respectable we pull into the parking lot of the she-she restaurant around 630ish (so a full two hours after Kamryn got dressed) and all of a sudden Kamryn squeals from the back seat.

Me: Kamryn, WHAT is the matter?
Kamryn: I forgot to put on underwear.

Lordy. We're a good 40 minutes from home. Glad the dress is on the long side.

So we had a quick but intense discussion about not mentioning this to anyone else. Then we had a more intense discussion with Sam about privacy issues because this is the kind of info he would love to share with our friends, the maitre D', our server, random people he would meet in the restaurant...

Kamryn: This is kind of uncomfortable.
Me: It can't be that uncomfortable. You've been dressed for 2 hours and you just noticed.

Lordy.
javascript:void(0)
There were no further underwear incidents and we had a lovely dinner.

Just to show you...

You don't need talent or creativity just REALLY good instructions. Look what I made.

No one ever says thank you.

This morning I walked over the the breakfast nook to grab a bowl and stepped in a mess of Cheerios that Sam had spilled all over the floor. I was not happy. I hollared for him to come downstairs and sweep up his mess (something he oddly enjoys) and he got the broom and the dustpan and got to it. Midway through he pauses to note that the mess always seems to be on his side of the table. Ummmm.... Ya think? Then as he finishes sweeping up the mess he made, he starts mumbling about no one ever saying thank you. All I could do to keep from cracking up.

Still on the diet

So after all my grumbling about South Beach... today I'm wearing a pair of jean capris that I put away last year (for good I thought) because they threatened to cut me in two when I did them up. Better still - I wore them two weeks ago quite comfortably (might have mentioned it here but can't find the reference). Thing is this morning I had to put on a belt to keep them up (little private dance of joy). I still haven't had anyone ask me if I'm losing weight (I'm so waiting for that) BUT I zipped up a skirt I couldn't get on last week (still too tight to wear but I got the zipper up!) and I put on a pair of size 8 shorts (not that I ever intend to actually wear them again because I won't ever be a size 8 again but I could squeeze my sizable butt in them).

My worry now is that this is all an illusion although now on to phase two South Beach I could eat like this indefinitely. I just have to get my head around the fact that the occasional cheat is fine and I could be all right. I don't miss potatoes at all. I keep asking myself why we stopped eating brown rice (it's so much tastier that white). I could do without the endless veggies though; ugh!

Still don't know how much I actually weigh. I just know it's less than I did last month.
Anyway so far so good.

Public Service Announcement

This weekend we embarked on the world of geocaching. My boss has been talking it up for eons. It seemed to have its merits but I was lazy - oh so lazy. I have the entire month of August off however and I was looking for something inexpensive to do with the kids and this seemed a perfect fit. So I signed up on www.geocaching.com and got down to business.

This week I dragged the family out for the first time. What a great time we all had. I downloaded three easy caches for us to locate and off we went on our bikes. The kids were excited to be on the hunt. I was happy to be on my bicycle. Daniel was grumpy to start but once we'd found our first cache even he was into it. The caches were fun to search for. We found all three and both Kamryn and Sam are asking when we can do it again (although Sam has probably missed the point in that he just wants to return to the locations of the caches we're already found.)

I think we've unearthed a new hobby.

The post in which I bore you completely to death.

Kamryn started Power Skating lessons last week. While Sam is the natural athlete Kamryn needs a little more encouragement in that area (most literally; she's a fine athlete but she lacks confidence and tends to hover on the outskirts rather than getting in there with her elbows up!) - thus the lessons. So I dressed her in her gear and sent her out on the ice and then really looked at her. Her shorts (PANTS! Daniel would yell but they look like shorts to me) were WAY to short. Quite a safety hazard because that exposes her unprotected thigh to all manner of injuries. So the goal this weekend was to find her a new pair of hockey "shorts." They are EXPENSIVE. Prices start around $40.00 which isn't bad but you get what you pay for, regardless they quickly balloon to $80 + with the average price being in the $100 range. Ouch.

She hadn't grown that much (her legs though are just stretching out) and everything else seemed to fit just fine. I mused though that me may have to replace everything come January but at least then we could take advantage of sales. The pants couldn't wait and we headed for our local Play it Again Sports to look for some used equipment. The store was gone! Doh! I remember seeing a sign on a new strip mall going up down the road that they would be moving there but that mall wasn't finished yet. There was another store clear across town so we headed there but thought that we would pop into Canuck Tire on the way so that Daniel could see the $40 pair. Once there it occured to us that we could get her a COMPLETE new set of equipment for $130.00 if we bought a kit. It would mean Sam could wear her old equipment (which would fix his need for new hockey gloves) and there would be no need for new equipment for Kamryn come January. Yay team! We spent a little more than we intended but in the end I think we'll come out ahead. So what to do with Sam's practically brand new equipment? Hmmmm.... I posted on online ad to sell it and kicked myself that I didn't look online for pants for Kamryn. In order to price the equipment I did a little online survey and didn't find even one comparable product - I felt less bad for not attempting to be thrifty. What does everyone do with their old equipment?

This morning there was a bidding war via e-mail for the equipment I posted. Totally easy sale. Again I was stunned. There are thousands of little ones who played hockey last year and will need new equipment. What do their parents do with the old equipment? I guess they could be passing it on but everyone? I must be missing something.

Let's make a list

Good things

1. I’m eating 3 – 5 meals a day as opposed to my normal 2.
2. My GERD – completely in control.
3. I’m eating more vegetables than I have in my ENTIRE life – that can’t be bad.
4. I think I’m losing weight (although I’m not sure).
5. Loads of new ways to prepare veggies that are really impressing the kids (yes, I have kids who generally like vegetables).
6. Virtually no take-out food being purchased – good for my waistline and my pocket book.
7. One starch a day seems doable and almost reasonable.
8. While I’m not tracking points like I do with Weight Watchers; I plan each and every thing I eat so it’s having a similar effect.


Bad Things

1. I do feel deprived and sometimes hungry (like now) although I’m holding out determinedly for noon.
2. I miss carbs terribly. Okay that’s not true. I miss cake and cookies terribly. I’ve never really like rice, can live without the potato without to much difficulty and am generally bored with bread.
3. There is no room AT ALL to cheat even a little on this diet. If I have something I’m craving I feel like I’m betraying all my hard work. I’m still beating myself up over two and a half cookies I ate on Saturday night. Like what!?!
4. Meal preparation takes planning and more work than I’m willing to do on a regular basis so occasionally I just don’t eat because I can’t be bothered.
5. I keep thinking of all the overweight friends I have who did this diet and got skinny and who gained it all back before they got the tags off their new clothes (I believe I have more willpower/discipline then them but who really knows).

So after all my whining...

Today I am wearing a pair of shorts that I put aside last year because they threatened to cut me in two at the waist.

I'm heading out to buy supplies for phase two of this diet. Go figure.

Instant Award

So I won a workplace award. When I first got the e-mail informing me of the fact I thought it was a bit of a joke. The award is called an “Instant Award.” Sounds hokey, no?

Here’s what the website says:

iBoutique is the exciting, new instant recognition program from the Government of Canada. It offers a terrific selection of gift items that celebrates you the recipient…

Your dedication rises above the ordinary and has not gone unnoticed. This selection of gifts is our way of saying thanks and acknowledges our praise and respect for you…

Congratulations, we hope you will enjoy your gift and the sincere appreciation behind its giving.

Okay – yay me. I received my award – along with my team and a host of other people working in our division for work we did on something called “Committee of the Whole.” Let’s just say Committee of the Whole ruined May for me. I’ve also supposedly been recognized for running my little team for the last little while. Everyone received an award at the i3 level. Mine was i6 (there are 8 levels) I’m not sure if that’s because I’m being recognized for doing more on Committee of the Whole or just more in general. Dunno.

I don’t know what to pick. The prizes are weird. Luggage is leading the way right now but I'm not all that certain we need luggage. I can pick anything from any of the categories up to i6 but feel that I might be cheating myself somewhat to pick something from a lesser category.

Not my lifestyle

So I started the South Beach diet 8 days ago ostensibly to support my mother whose doctor instructed her to cut her carbs in light of some health problems. My mother bless her heart “cut her carbs” by going out and buying a ton of fruit. Sigh. So, I bought her the South Beach Diet book (so she would be informed) and told her I would do it with her. I’m doing it alone.

She’s not about to give up carbs – really. She’s still eating white rice and potatoes. We went out for dinner on Sunday and while I had some sort of salad with grilled chicken, beans and cheddar cheese, my mother had steak, prawns and French fries. I wasn’t perfect – I had a SMALL desert (called a bite of brownie – literally half a white chocolate brownie with two tablespoons of ice cream) – my only cheat all week. My mother had a berry and apple crisp. But Mom is stubborn and can’t be pushed or reasoned with. I’ve watched her diet my entire life. She has the discipline of a drunken marine. What I learned from her – a good lesson – was not to diet.

I’m not thin. I generally haven’t been fat either. I did Weight Watchers over ten years ago (wow!); lost 50 lbs and have allowed it to slowly creep back over the last 7 years or so - never actually regaining it all. Lately though I think (I don’t know since I won’t step on a scale) I’ve been getting close. And while I’m comfortable at a size 12 (really I am – I’m 5’9” for heaven sakes); I’m not ready to start buying size 14s (at my heaviest size 14s were tight). There was this roll at my belly that REALLY bothered me. So I thought I could kill two birds with this stone – help my mother; kick start some of my own weight loss.

Everyone complains about how hard it is to lose weight after 40. Well at 42, I can still guffaw at that statement. Perhaps things will change in a year or two but I think I’m advantaged by not having spent my adulthood on a diet. I’m also advantaged by the fact that I thrived on carbs by taking them out of my diet there is practically nothing left. The weight is coming off. But here’s the stupid thing – I didn’t weigh myself before starting (this was about Mom not me – ya right!) so I have no idea how much weight has come off. I do know that the skirts that were getting embarrassingly tight on me fit nicely again. I know that the cute jean capris that I put away last summer because the waist band threatened to cut me in two now fits as well. Sadly the really nice blouse I bought two weeks ago is now too big. So the weight is coming off. Maybe 5 pounds? Maybe more? According to the book I’m supposed to lose between 8 and 13 pounds the first two weeks. I’m generally a slow loser so I expected to lose 8. I intended to stop at the end of the two weeks because I didn’t really believe that this diet was sustainable or smart but now I may be hooked – on losing.

The nice thing about losing weight is getting back into clothes you never thought you’d wear again. I’m really enjoying that and its especially easy because I really wasn’t all that far out of my clothes. So I’m liking that. I like that the roll has shrunk to what I deem acceptable (with the right support it’s gone entirely!) I like the discipline of the diet. I’m good with discipline.

But I HATE this diet.

Right now what I’d like most in life is a latté and a muffin (and I don’t even like muffins). I miss crackers with my cheese. I miss cereal. I miss toast. I crave potatoes. I want to have a chocolate bar. I can’t see accepting low-carb as a realistic lifestyle choice and that means that this weight loss is unsustainable. Which is very sad because I really like how my clothes fit today.

Weight Watchers works so much better because I never felt deprived. I may have been hungry sometimes but I could ignore that and if I wanted a chocolate bar I could have it. On the other hand, the freedom in the end was my downfall. I never journalled properly which makes it so very easy to cheat. So I guess I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to go back to points and all that hassle but I'm not good with not eating anything good. So I'm just whiney.

Before the week is out I will have a solution. I'm hoping that the freedom to add some carbs back into my diet will help but I'm not terribly optimistic.

More musing about my allergies

This morning Kamryn came into my bathroom carrying a stuffed bat. She informed me that Cédric (the bat) is allergic to eggs and peanuts and that he has an Epi pen like mine only it's black (like him). Right.

I'm guessing my little incident on Sunday night has affected more than just me.

I did get out my Epi pen on Sunday night and admit to being a little scared that I might really need it. That's never happened before (neither needing it or being scared during an allergic response). It's changed my whole outlook on my allergies. I've really never worried about them much. I'm allergic to A LOT of things and in many ways this has defined me but they haven't been anything more than a nuissance. My mother and my husband well they get all excited but me, well I've been entirely to casual about things.

I only have an Epi pen because a Respirologist I was sent to see once begged me (most literally) to carry one. I've always seen them as a grand waste of money (they are pricey). The reason mine was expired is the Respirologist told me that if I was concerned with cost that letting them be a little expired (no more than 6 months) was fine; he probably would have frowned on two years. I have two Epi pens. On Sunday night I only knew where one was: in the corner of my bedroom, in the satchel I used to carry to work but haven't used in over 6 months, under an extra comforter, a duvet and a pile of pillows that I really need to store away properly. To my credit I was surprised that it was as expired as it was.

I've taken getting a new one as a priority but I'm still waiting on my doctor's office and the pharmacy to get their act together. I'm now uncomfortable not having one.

I'm also a little sad. I was excited at the possibilities opened to me with the false revellation that I had outgrown this allergy. I'm angry with the allergist. I had accepted my limitations. I didn't particularly miss this part of my culinary life and then my world was opened. The restaurants that I was going to visit (I REALLY wanted to try fish and chips - okay not exciting but they look so good). The recipies I was going to try. The freedom that I didn't know I didn't have. Now I miss it.

I miss it and my daughter's stuffed bat has an Epi pen. What did I say the other day? Sucks!

Doh!

Ever so often I reach saturation with work. I'm there now. I really need a day off and thought I might squeeze in a long weekend. Then today I discovered that while toiling in the seventh circle of hell last month I managed to miss not one but two important taskings. I got the e-mails. I read them and then promptly blocked them from my mind. As no one else in the section was aware of the e-mails, there was no one to remind me that contrary to popular belief we were still horrendously busy.

Bless my director's heart for saying nothing when I relayed this information to him.

July is coming. All hail July!

Well... SUCKS!

That's what Kamryn would say.

Last night we had breaded Tilapia for dinner. I admit I'm very frustrated by Sam's comments about seafood. We went out to dinner with his biological grandmother the other day and she made a (immature!) comment about not like the smell of seafood. Actually her boyfriend apologized for ordering seafood and she explained the reason for his apology. Sam - his ears wide open - decided that he too didn't like the smell of seafood and, in the way only a six-year-old can, keeps going on about it. It's annoying especially because I'm pretty certain he has no idea what it smells like.

Anyway, I threw an adult tantrum on Saturday and decreed that we would start have seafood for dinner once a week whether they liked it or not.

Since my visit with the alergist in April I have been equally excited at terrified about the prospect of eating fish. I'm completely ignorant. I don't know whether I like fish (I think probably not). I don't know how to prepare it. I don't know how to eat it (de-boning etc.) I've been rolling it around in my head for the last month. I had one small bite at the beginning of May and that's been it.

I decided that we would start with breaded Tiliapia. I'd heard it was a mild fish and pretty non-offensive and the bonus was I didn't have to prepare it. So we got a bag of frozen filets and some tartar sauce and I prepared to be initiated.

It didn't go well. Daniel doesn't like Tiliapia (too mild/tasteless) and he hates "fish sticks" but he acquieced as part of the experiment. The kids predictably hated it and had to be cajoled/ordered/forced to eat it. Me? I had three (maybe four) bites before I started to feel wierd. Actually after the first bite I started to feel wierd but I worked very hard to convince myself I was imagining things. Unfortunately I was not. I stopped eating but definitely not in time.

I immediately rustled up my Epi-pen (which I discovered expired in 2008) and took the maximum dosage of Benedryl. The funny feeling (tightness in my throat and slight swelling of my lower lip) subsided but my stomach was decidedly unhappy. I had a bowl of cereal and a glass of pepsi - mistake number 2 and 3.

After "dinner" I sat on the couch reading to Kamryn until it became apparent that I needed to stop and return my dinner to the earth from which it came - twice. Lordy did my stomach feel awful and no one told it that it was supposed to feel better after I'd been sick. But now I have no idea how much benedryl actually got into my system. Three hours had passed since I took the dosage. The inside of my ears (seriously) were itching like crazy (although I was working very hard once more to convince myself it was my imagination - like really who gets hives in their ear canals?). Hives started to appear on the oddest and difficult to scratch places - normal places too! I decided that it was okay to OD on the Benedryl as I had probably lost most of the dose I took earlier.

Mercifully, when you OD on benedryl, sleep comes quickly. When I woke this morning I was fine although my stomach still feels a little off.

I have NEVER gotten sick to my stomach before with an allergy. Then again I've never boldly eaten something that I knew I was allergic to. I also feel that getting sick and getting hives at the same time is unfair - there ought to be a biological rule making this impossible. I did contemplate asking Daniel to take me to the hospital at one point but (despite some tighness in my throat) my breathing was all right. Having been to the hospital under similar circumstances in the past I knew they couldn't do anything more for me that I wasn't already doing. Benedryl and wait it out. I can't imagine how bad things would have gotten if I didn't get sick. And I'm really relieved I didn't have to use the expired Epi-pen.

What a night! I've learned my lesson. No more seafood for me.

The good that came out of it? Since the doctor told me that I wasn't allergic to seafood a few months back I've felt a little like a hypochondriac. How long haven't I been allergic? How many times have I told people that I couldn't eat seafood when I had no basis in fact? Did I ever really have an allergy or was it all in my mind - I REMEMBER the reactions from my childhood but maybe they were exagerated. I feel a little vindicated now. But I could have done without that vindication.

My laptop is fixable!

Got a call about my computer last night. The repair tech gave me an estimate of $300 to fix it. The optimist in me is budgeting $400. I don't know where that money is coming from right now - wonderful. Good news is that is should be fixed today, after almost 5 months of waiting. I'm excited to have it back.

I'm still angry with Daniel though. It would help if he would defend himself, bluster, complain... anything; but, no, he just looks at you like you're speaking German and then goes and does the dishes. At least we have clean dishes.

I know how the shoemaker's kids feel.

So my laptop stopped working in February. It keeps overheating - within minutes of turning it on; seconds even. It will boot up and then before the hard drive has even stopped whirring it will overheat and shut down.

Now as annoying as this was I have a handy dandy computer expert in the house as supposedly Daniel is going to school to help people with problems just like mine. And he said he would help. He took my computer and he took it apart. He told me one of his profs at school was going to help him. I was content. A week went by then two. He said something about the prof not being available. Then three. I didn't nag because he was in school; he was busy studying. I could wait a bit. A month went by. Then two. School finished.

The laptop is still in pieces.

In the interim he bought HIMSELF a new computer. Doesn't matter really because when he wants to surf the net, check e-mail, read the paper he has a handy dandy I-Touch that I bought him for his birthday last year - so nice of me.

My computer has been a bone of contention between us of late. A big Tyrannosaurus Rex bone. I can't fix it myself. I can't take it somewhere to get it fixed until he puts it back together (I don't think I can even afford to get it fixed by a real expert). During our last blow-up, he told me he would put it back together. That was at least 10 days ago.

Then I watched Parenthood the other night on TV. One of the characters told her mother to "stop making yourself the victim." I identified with that. Tonight I sat down at our old desktop to download myself some audio books. Hey - I don't need the laptop, the desktop served me well for years. I am not a victim! Woohoo for delusion.

I love audio books. I can listen to them on the bus on the way to work and not get motion sick. I haven't been able to download audio books since my laptop died. I tried to download the software I need for my audio books onto the desktop computer. I didn't work. I tried several times. I tried several ways. I swore. I cursed. I yelled at Daniel and blamed him for everything from the JFK assassination to the oil spill in the Gulf. He came into the office and stared over my shoulder as I floundered and eventually I gave up.

Then I decided I would install a video game I quite enjoy. That worked beautifully. When I couldn't find the code I needed I looked online and there is was. I downloaded everything I needed and prepared to play. Not a victim. Long live delusion! This old desktop - doesn''t have the video card needed to play games like that. I gave up.

I'm a victim. I'm facing that inevitability and going to bed.

Tomorrow I will ask Daniel where he put the parts to my broken computer - I have no idea. I will package it up myself and take it to Future Shop where they will demand part of my pancreas as payment to fix it. It's what I should have done in February.

Sigh.

This morning's conversation...

Kamryn: It's no fair. He get's to go to the dentist and I have to go to soccer. Boring! No fair!

I'm going to ban the term "no fair" from my house soon. That or go insane.

Last night's conversation ....

Kids are in the back seat of the car prattling on incessantly.

Sam: Making non-sensical conversation with no one in particular and generally being ignored.

Kamryn: Can we get a poodle?

Me: Sure, we'll just get rid of your brother and get you a poodle.

Kamryn: Woohoo! We're getting a poodle.

Sam: Non-sensical babble continues. (Pause of realization) What?!?!

It was better to actually be there but you get the point.

I have not disappeared. Just dealing with an intense amount of family stuff so my fingers are a little quiet. Back soon!

My Dad and I wrote this ...

All about Eula

Eula was born in St Lucia on the 5 of March 1922. Over 88 years — some of them, not that easy — she made the most of her life. She lived a life anyone could be proud of.

As a girl she was athletic and adventurous and got into her fair share of mischief — things like falling out of coconut trees — which is hard to believe when you considered what a proper and upstanding adult she was to become. She was most proud to represent her school on the netball team. She also had an artistic side and loved to sing and act. Indeed, she had a real flair for drama.

As a young woman, during the hardest times of the Second World War, she went to work as a sales clerk for her Godfather to help to bring up her three younger siblings.

After her Godfather, she moved to work for one of the largest department stores, on the island.

In 1959 Eula took the bold step of migrating to Canada to join her youngest sister.

Her first job in Canada was as a nanny for a Canadian family. Her caring nature endeared her to that family and them to her. Some of them have joined us today. Over the years they were never far from her heart and she mentioned the W* family often and always with a smile.

From there she joined the department store “Freimans,” a family business that was bought out by the Hudson’s Bay Company in the 70s, as an account processing clerk. Staying with Freimans and eventually the Bay she worked as a sales clerk until her retirement in the early 80s. She was a most dedicated employee and it took a great deal to keep her from her post day after day. She took her retirement somewhat reluctantly.

Eula was a people person and she was loved by all who knew her. During her retirement she spent time helping others and being a companion to older folks. Eula valued these relationships and became a trusted friend to these seniors. One even showed her appreciation for Eula’s companionship by listing Eula in her will. Indeed, Eula was always there when anyone needed help. Even in her eighties she was the one many – family and friend — relied on to take care of them when illness threatened or some crisis rose up.

Eula was very active. A real example for her neices and nephews of how to live a full life. She travelled the world — the Carribean, Europe, the Holy Land. If someone needed a travelling companion she was always eager to go along.

She kept extremely fit. She swam every day and her swimming group was surprised to find that she was about twenty years their senior.

Eula loved sports. Her favourite Football team was the Dallas Cowboys and she was an ardent Blue Jay fan. She would scream — no exaggeration — at the players on the TV and had all kind of advice for the coaches – she called them names too. When she saw a spectacular play she would immediately call her friend and exclaim “did you see that pass?”

She loved to sing and dance. When she got sick some kind lady who sat behind her in church, sent her a get well card and mentioned that she missed her singing in church.

Eula was a very religious person – never missed a church service. She made friends easily and had wonderful ones who drove to church and back.

Eula never married but family was at the centre of her being. In her old apartment there was a credenza and every square inch of that credenza was taken up with picture frames. Pictures of her brother — whom she doted upon. Of her sisters whom she revered. Of her many neices and nephews – dozens of them. And grand-neices, grand nephews; great grands and her little great-great-grand neice. She loved them all and was always ready to hear of their accomplishments and endeavors. She had a soft spot for the boys and was ever forgiving of the mischief boys get up to. She loved the little girls and ribbons and bows put a smile on her face.

Eula passed away peacefully with her family at her side.