Socially Inept

I am so socially lazy, I wonder if here is something wrong with me. I like being with people. I like people in generally. I'm reasonably affable (if overly talkative) although I find it a little stressful. I think one of the reasons I am so talkative is I feel a responsibility to keep the conversation going. That can be a tall order. I hate small talk. I don't want to chat about the weather or how x team is doing this year. I don't like to talk politics with people who don't have advanced degrees in political science (I'm not a snob but political discussion can be infuriating at the best of times throw in a few people with a lack of basic understanding on how government functions and I want to pull my hair out). I cringe whenever I answer the phone and its my mother-in-law because the only thing she feels she can talk to me about is the weather. She still ends with a question about whether Daniel is at work - ummm... he hasn't held a job in two years. So ya... our conversations go nowhere and yes that stresses me out. Not that I want them to go anywhere (I don't like her and I don't think she approves of me. Daniel says I should get over it - that she doesn't approve of anyone) I would just prefer not to talk to her at all.

Anyway, on Saturday some bizarre possession came over my body and I invited Manager Mom and family (technically the invite was issued to the children) to come over and skate with Sam and Kamryn after school (we have a rink in the park behind our home). Then on Sunday I extended this invitation to include dinner. So this afternoon they are all coming over. The kids are over the moon excited; I'm just dreading it. I'm already thinking ahead to 8 pm when they will have gone home. (I just flashed on my first meeting with Daniel - I had similar thoughts. All I had to do was drink a cup of coffee and then I could go and it would be over lol).

This is why I'm so terrible at making friends. I honestly would be happier tonight sitting home alone watching American Idol than entertaining people I know and LIKE. I don't know how I got like this. Was I always like this? Makes no sense.