Long time no real update

I have so much to update on and I just haven’t had the chance. I’ve been having some medical problems (unrelated to my descent into menopause) and have been to a gazillion doctors and had a trillion “procedures” in the last two weeks. I’m a little exhausted just thinking about it. It’s all a complication of a condition I’ve had for almost 20 years now and it has completely screwed up my right elbow. It’s gone from really serious to really annoying and has the potential to become moderately serious again but right now we’re happily wallowing in really annoying. :) I like annoying. Serious makes me worry. Okay enough about that – it is all intended as an excuse for my absence anyhow.

Well after 4 years I think we are finally done with social worker’s home visits. Not quite done with social workers yet as Sam’s adoption won’t be final for 6 months or so (if we are lucky) but no longer will I clean the house and bake something in anticipation of a report being written about me. All the reports are DONE! We had our last post placement visit for Sam last Friday, December 2nd. It went well as we knew it would. After working with someone for over 4 years on something as intimate as adoption, if your social worker hasn’t become a friend something is wrong.

I think back to when we were selecting a social worker to do our initial homestudy. I called all eight (staggering number) social workers in Ottawa and conducted phone interviews. I chose Carol because she was the one I thought I clicked with the best. It was a good choice. She really did well by us. She’s older and doddering and slow as molasses but you know she really cares and is doing the best she possibly can for you and for that I can over look her other foibles. I told her when she was leaving that if she ever needed us to speak at a workshop or something we would be happy to do it. I hope she takes us up on the offer. She brought up what a wealth of experience we were having done: a newborn domestic adoption, a toddler adoption, two different kinds of open adoptions, private adoption and a private adoption that involved the state and finally transracial adoption of sorts. I really do feel a little like an adoption expert now – at least in those areas. Carol is writing a book and will likely reference Sam’s adoption in it – complicated as it was. So we will likely hear from her on that too. I guess she’s not really out of our lives. We gave her a friendship ball as a little thank-you.

Other news, Kamryn’s birthfather is moving to Kenya. Sigh. He moves every few years. He’s a chef and he works for a major hotel chain so he goes where they need him. When Kamryn was born he was working in the U.A.E. then he was in Calgary and now he’s off to Kenya. I had hoped he would take another position in Canada because he’s not a Canadian citizen. He has to be in the country 3 years for that to happen and he never stays long enough. It would be a good thing for him to “take care of.” I guess this opportunity was too good for him to pass off though as it means “going home.” He’s Kenyan. He told us that we should start making vacation plans. Ummmm…. I don’t think so.

Now don’t get me wrong, a trip to Kenya would be the trip of a lifetime and we definitely plan on doing it one day but not with a 3 year old and a 1 year old. If we’re going to shell out for airfare to Kenya it’s going to be a trip that these kids remember. Our plan had been to go when Kamryn was around 10ish. He won’t be there that long but there is nothing to say he can’t go back. The company has 4 hotels there (one of which he will be responsible for opening). It will be odd having him so far away again (he’s been here since Kamryn was about a year old). I think he came back to work on his relationship with Kamryn’s birthmother. I know that relationship is over so I guess there really is nothing keeping him here. I hope he visits before he heads out. He is hoping to but it could be tough for him to coordinate.

Someone on Friends By Adoption asked what the difference was between bio and adopted kids – all this coordination and worrying about other people is the difference. It’s not all encompassing but it’s there. The kids, at the ages they are now are oblivious to it all but it’s an ongoing thing in our lives.

Okay that’s all the news that is fit to print today – must go feed the kids dinner they are getting VERY cranky.